Envy

Underneath my seemingly calm exterior I live with a raging envy.  I try to control it.  Telling myself I shouldn't feel this way.  That this is an unhealthy way to live my life.  But that only fuels my envy even more.

It's just not fair!

Let me spell it out for you, I don't have the metabolism of a teenager anymore.  But every day I have to watch my teenagers burn through a million calories.  Half of them empty even.  There are wrappers everywhere.  On their bedroom floor.  Stuffed between couch cushions. In the dryer.   In the bathroom next to the toilet.  There are fingerprints all over my fridge from them propping their arm to lean their bodies in through the open door while leisurely considering their food choices before they determine that there's $300 worth of nothing to eat.   And let's not even start on the forgotten nearly empty plates covered in a thin layer of dried cheese that has turned into super glue.  

It's disgusting! 

Mostly because, I can't do any of it anymore.  Because I have the metabolism of the slug.  And I have to be the responsible nag.  That's my job now.  Reminding them how expensive all the food is.  How we're going to get roaches from their unhygienic ways.  But most of all, reminding them that one day they'll turn into me.  A bitter forty-something with a slug-like metabolism eating salads salivating over their king size snickers bar and reminiscing about how I used to be able to eat like that.  And a bag of Doritos.  Washed down with a Pepsi.  In one sitting. Before I was back in the fridge an hour later for a post snack snack.   

Envy: it's not just a destructive emotion, 

it's a vengeful legacy we pass down to our kids.  

And, I can't wait to give it to them...
...it'll be like Christmas!