Before writing Rock the Kasbah, I was a perfectionist. Consumed with meeting the unique expectations of the various people I encountered. I made the choice to value the opinions and voices of those around me over my own time and time again. In short, I victimized myself. Writing the blog started the process of shedding the anonymity I clung to. Writing the book, solidified I wasn't turning back. And now, I'm a certified, card-carrying Born Again Imperfectionist.
The thing about being a writer, artist, singer, musician, comedian, dancer or anything in the creative field is everything you create is shaped by your life experiences. And when you share your work with others, it's open to interpretation and here's the big one, the perceptions of others. Which are shaped by the reader, viewer or listener's unique life experiences.
The book was therapy for me. I relived past hurts. I looked at minuscule accomplishments that I never thought of as small triumphs and relabeled them. I examined where I'd been and why and reprioritized where I was going. I laughed a bit. But, there were far more tears. Because change is painful. It hurts. Especially, when the walls of deception you've clung to are pulled down and you finally see things for what they truly are. Then the safety net disappears and you realize, the only person who can save you, is you.
With a hell of a lot of effort and contemplation, I live a far more conscious life now.
The writing, the self publishing and the marketing (that I haven't even begun yet), that's all on me, it's all a gift that I gave myself. To continue to grow and challenge myself. Warning: This book was an extremely selfish endeavor filled with self discovery. Memoirs usually are. You might be on a similar path. You might not. You might like what I have to say. You might not. That's entirely up to you, the reader. Every single one of us is an armchair critic.
Ultimately, our critiques of others are simply fragments of our fears or our loves combined with our unique life experiences reflected back at us.