Thursday, September 24, 2015

Spoiled Brat

Every family has one.  And they're usually the youngest child.  The spoiled brat.  I can say that because I was the youngest spoiled brat of my family.   We get too much, too early and we don't appreciate it.  But in our defense, we don't know better.  We were simply born into this sense of self entitlement.  And if we didn't have it, we wouldn't get any attention at all.  Because there's too many people in line for attention before us.  We have to fight to stand out.  

In theory, it all makes sense.  

But, now that I'm the mother of my very own spoiled brat, it's really just super annoying.  She constantly wants me to watch her do handstands, even though I've seen her do them about a million times.  She's always cracking jokes that are so subtle, but yet extraordinarily witty and dry as hell.  They could almost go unnoticed, but they never do.  Because she's calculated, intelligent and has brilliant comedic timing.   And because of these things she, more than any other of my kids, wields a lot of power.  

Because tyrants are extremely capable.  

They are capable of driving you completely insane.  They use guilt and manipulation because nothing is ever good enough.  So, when we announced our big upcoming travel plans to the kids, she was the first to react.  "Why aren't we going to New Zealand?"   That brazen ingrate was going straight for the jugular.  Because I'm also a spoiled brat, New Zealand was at the top of my travel list, though I never told her that.  She just knew.  


I was more than irate.  "They are $2600 a piece.  Then multiply that number by 6.  And that's why we're not going to New Zealand!"   The nerve!  And that's precisely when I decided that the best way to celebrate our last child leaving the house about ten years from now will be a trip for 2 to New Zealand.  Since I'm a spoiled brat too.  Because I'm also calculating.  And I'm calculating it's going to be a lot cheaper this way.   

1 comment:

joeh said...

Good plan...I like it.


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