Thursday, September 10, 2015

I Should've Married a Vet

If you're a regular reader here, you probably already know that my husband is a pediatrician.  Which I must confess is pretty fantastic, because anytime anything is wrong with one of the kids, I simply ask him.  Or more likely,  text him or call him.   Several times before he answers.  Because more than likely he's at work seeing your sick kid when I call him.  But, eventually he does call back and although I have doubted his professional opinion in the past, simply because I'm married to him,  I have learned he's always right.  About medical stuff anyway.  Though I can't help but think...

...I should've married a veterinarian.

Nothing against my husband because he's fantastic really.   It's just that since we got these dogs 3 years ago, I'm constantly at the vet.  And I think at this point the vet must think I have a case of malicious doggy mom Munchausen by Proxy or something.  Cause I always come in with the dogs and some crazy story, but with the same recurrent symptoms.  Plus, I'm just a little too concerned about them.  but seriously, they're dogs and they can't tell me what's wrong with them.   So sometimes I kinda make things up in my head.  Like the time they had the plague. 

I know you're thinking that that's absolutely ridiculous.  That the plague was eradicated years ago.  But, you'd be wrong.  There are deer here in Colorado Springs with the plague.  And elsewhere in Colorado it's been spread to humans who've died from it.  So a couple of weeks ago when I took Bonnie & Clyde to the vet with diarrhea, they sent me home with meds.  But, lying in bed at 3am awoken by dogs scratching at the door to go out and relieve themselves, it hit me.  The vet mentioned  that dogs can get diarrhea from eating deer poop.  So, it was blatantly obvious to me, in the dark of night, that they had the plague.   And they sleep with the kids, so the kids had the plague.  And that we kiss the kids, so we had it too.

Of course we didn't. 

And the dogs got over their diarrhea just like they always do.  But, two weeks later I was back at the vet again to update their shots.  And to get an estimate of having Clyde's eye growth removed because it's doubled in size and is starting to block his eye.   Removing it requires he be knocked out and undergo laser treatment.  Which would cost a few hundred dollars.  These dogs are getting extremely expensive.  But,  if I was married to a vet, this wouldn't cost a thing.  But, I'm married to a pediatrician.  Wait a minute... if my husband can  circumcise a penis, I'm pretty sure he could remove a skin tag from a dog.  Maybe I'm kinda almost married to a vet already...

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