Monday, August 10, 2015

Martyr Complex

Martyrs employ self-sacrifice and victimization to avoid taking responsibility for their own life. They are prepared, however, to take responsibly for everyone else's life.  

We all know a martyr.  It's pathetic how they twist everything to be someone else's fault.  Oh poor me, I'm just a saint.  Wait, let me do that for you because you're probably incapable of doing it correctly yourself.  With their incessant need to be needed. 

 And that's why we all dislike martyrs.  

But, wait...isn't the definition of a martyr pretty much exactly the same as the definition of a parent?  And what god has joined together, let no man separate.  I mean it's in the bible, it must be true.  See?  It's not my fault.  You know who's fault it is?  My kids.  Without them I wouldn't even be a parent.  They made me this way.  Obviously.  Cause I wasn't this way before.  Nor was I exhausted all the time with a house full of broken things.  

I mean really, if I didn't do all the things I did for them, who would?  It's my moral obligation.  And if I don't tell them exactly how to replace the toilet paper with the paper going over the roll like a civilized person, how would they ever know the right way of doing it?  Also, they need reminding when I have to run up there and replace the roll my damn self cause they forgot to.  Again.  I mean I'm tired of being the only one to do it.  I'm basically a superhero.  Not that I want to brag, but really?  Would anyone have anything to wipe their ass with without me?  No.  

Oh trust me, the list goes on and on.

Which is what I tell my kids when they complain about putting fresh water in the dogs' bowl.  Or a litany of other seemingly trivial tasks.   "Oh really?  That's so hard?  Do you want to hear the list of everything I've done today?"  No one ever does. But, I'm hoping some day they will.  Because I always keep a mental checklist ready for just such an opportunity.  And so I can pat myself on the back later.  You know, after their asleep in their cozy beds that I washed and made for my ungrateful kids.
Turns out this martyr stuff is more complex than I thought.


joeh said...

It seems the kids sound like martyrs when they do the simplest chores.

And I agree with TP over the roll, but when I expressed that fact once, a commentor told me that I clearly did not own a cat. Still laughing about that.

Leah Griffith said...

Marie, never feel bad about getting the long arm out and patting yourself on the back. I don't know how you keep up with it all you poor dear:) *grin

Marie Loerzel said...

@joeh-Great minds think alike! That's funny! I don't own a cat. Obviously.
@Leah- You never cease to make me smile!

Cathy Tittle said...

You sound like a mom with kids in the tween hardest years when I felt most martyred were those years. My kids were brats for a little spell, then God worked a miracle and straightened them back out, right before I had to kill them. :)

Best TP story in our house was when my daughter's twins were about 2 years old or so. We misplaced them and found them in the downstairs bathroom. They had rolled the whole bathroom, including themselves. When Gramps asked sternly who did it, Duncan pointed at Maddie, who just dropped her head in shame. Nevermind he was holding TP in his hand with a loop of it wrapped around his head, he wasn't going down.

Maddie was learning to be a martyr right out of the womb it appears.

Thanks for the grins and laughs this morning. :)

Lisa said...

Your irreverent tone makes me laugh Marie, there's a Martyr in all of us!

Mackenzie Glanville said...

thanks for making me giggle, it's all so true!

Joy Page Manuel said...

OMG, I never thought of it that way. But I guess you're right. We're martyrs and we DO deserve that pat on our backs, right?! Pat away. And now I wonder what would happen if I stopped caring, stopped doing all the things I do for the family....hmmm, scary thought. Not sure I can stop though. Is it our fault?? *thinking*


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