Martyrs employ self-sacrifice and victimization to avoid taking responsibility for their own life. They are prepared, however, to take responsibly for everyone else's life.
We all know a martyr. It's pathetic how they twist everything to be someone else's fault. Oh poor me, I'm just a saint. Wait, let me do that for you because you're probably incapable of doing it correctly yourself. With their incessant need to be needed.
And that's why we all dislike martyrs.
But, wait...isn't the definition of a martyr pretty much exactly the same as the definition of a parent? And what god has joined together, let no man separate. I mean it's in the bible, it must be true. See? It's not my fault. You know who's fault it is? My kids. Without them I wouldn't even be a parent. They made me this way. Obviously. Cause I wasn't this way before. Nor was I exhausted all the time with a house full of broken things.
I mean really, if I didn't do all the things I did for them, who would? It's my moral obligation. And if I don't tell them exactly how to replace the toilet paper with the paper going over the roll like a civilized person, how would they ever know the right way of doing it? Also, they need reminding when I have to run up there and replace the roll my damn self cause they forgot to. Again. I mean I'm tired of being the only one to do it. I'm basically a superhero. Not that I want to brag, but really? Would anyone have anything to wipe their ass with without me? No.
Oh trust me, the list goes on and on.
Which is what I tell my kids when they complain about putting fresh water in the dogs' bowl. Or a litany of other seemingly trivial tasks. "Oh really? That's so hard? Do you want to hear the list of everything I've done today?" No one ever does. But, I'm hoping some day they will. Because I always keep a mental checklist ready for just such an opportunity. And so I can pat myself on the back later. You know, after their asleep in their cozy beds that I washed and made for my ungrateful kids.
Turns out this martyr stuff is more complex than I thought.