I absolutely love clothes. When I was in high school, it was my dream to own a men's clothing store. This was before I figured out that while I love fashion, I hate sales and numbers of any kind. I found that out when I failed an accounting class in college and promptly changed my major from business to the extremely impractical political science. Why didn't I just get a philosophy degree? Hmmmm....let me think about that.
Anyway, now, many useless post collegiate years later, I'm happy I work from home in my comfy clothes. But, sometimes, I miss dressing like a professional. And I secretly ogle and long to buy work clothes when I'm out shopping. So I can dress myself for a life I don't live. Again, completely impractical.
That's when I decided to dress like I was going to work in a cubicle somewhere for a whole work week. Which confused the hell out of my family and friends. And embarrassed my already chronically embarrassed kids.
I thought I'd start the week out with a bang. A colorful dress, pretty patterned tights and heels. Yes, heels that I actually used to wear in the mid nineties when I was a professional. Not that kind of professional mind you. When I went to pick up my youngest from school, I ran into my friend Lynn. Who did a double take, turned around and stopped to comment. "Are you wearing a dress?" Which of course was just the beginning of the are-you-having-a-mid-life-crisis comments from friends.
THOUGHT: When the hell can I get into my jammies? Cause I'm sick of trying to keep the girls jacked up and wrapped up in this getup.
I'm calling this my librarian after hours biker look. The photo doesn't show you the impressively subtle coordinated herringbone print layered in the sweater, skirt and tights. Let me just say, that this outfit was comparably more comfortable than the day before. Save the droopy crotch on the tights, which just makes you feel like a toddler with 5 pounds of pee dragging down your diaper. And the buckle on my biker boots ripped a hole in them when I uncrossed my legs at the computer. So I ended up looking a little rougher than I intended by day's end.
THOUGHT: Looking professional is itchy and I'm starting to look psychotic constantly scratching myself.
This is a pretty good reflection of my tomboyish style. Wearing a thrift store shirt I bought for my husband *ahem* that I have borrowed. Which is very reminiscent of the way I dressed in high school when I stole shirts from my dad's closet. But I had a mullet then, so it was harder to distinguish that I wasn't a boy back then.
JADE'S THOUGHT: "This is what you think people who work in an office dress like?"
EMBER'S THOUGHT: "Who's making you do this?"
This was a big day. I was meeting the assistant principal of the high school about the rampant drug problem. I've been told more than once that I appear younger than I am, I thought dressing up might help me to be taken more seriously. And I wanted to intimidate him. Which meant boots, for kicking ass. I desperately wanted to say "LICK MY BOOTS" during our meeting, to further establish my dominance. Ok, just to entertain myself. But, I restrained myself and instead extolled a quiet power. All ninja-like, sitting myself at the head of the conference table.
THOUGHTS: Say yes to the dress. I need to channel my inner ninja, wear boots and kick ass more often.
Ok, you did no doubt see casual Friday coming, right? Cause by this point, I'm freakin' sick of being uncomfortable. And worrying about getting dog hair all over my black dress and whether we have a lint brush or not. Then there's taking the time to coordinate the accessories and taking the dogs for their mid-day walk and worrying I'm going to get shit on my dress clothes whilst picking up dog shit. So today it's comfy funky patterned pants with my funky Moroccan jewelry and converse. Of course this doesn't show up well in the photo. But don't worry, you'll see this outfit again. Much to my kids chagrin. Because this is probably the best example of my tomboyish, simple, but kinda bohemian style. And these are the only shoes my dog Bonnie likes. She doesn't recognize me and barks if I wear anything that clops.
THOUGHT: My boss is a nit picky perfectionist bitch, that makes me do crazy shit like dress up all uncomfortable for the week. Oh, wait, that's me. But since I'm self unemployed, I can do whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want to.
And if you just can't get enough of these style posts, here's the second in the trilogy, which includes the outfit I wore on House Hunters International Morocco. For my two second tv debut in the party scene where I'm making ridiculous faces.