Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Extreme Makeover

Last week I cleaned out my closet. How could such a seemingly meanial task leave me a bit emotional? That orange sweat shirt and matching mini shirt that looks way too young for me. Really is too young for me. And too short. It's gotta go. And my ass is never going to fit in that dress again, no matter what a great time I had in it. Ever. And the big one? Those jeans. My favorite pair. You know the ones that are totally ripped up, but so soft and totally conformed to my body. Way too conformed to my body. And way too indecent to keep wearing. They need to go. Even though I confess they haven't actually left my house. Yet.

In going through all the comfort clothes and snapshots of memories in my closet, I realized I actually have a lot of cool stuff in there that I never wear. So that's when I thought I should actually wear some of them for a week by making them into outfits. And that I should also accessorize. And then came the big one. My hair. I should do my hair everyday. And that almost made me forgo this whole thing because I have a really strong hate-hate relationship with my hair.



So on Monday I decided to go big. And by big, I mean my hair. I never wear it down. And with good reason. Craig calls this look my Bon Jovi hair. And you can see why. I wanted to knock it out on Monday, figuring things could only go up from there. The rest of the outfit is comfortable and I'm insanely in love with those boots and the hamsa necklace. Ok and the rest of it too. Although I feel more like I'm going clubbing on a friday night than walking through the medina like I did. Although I must say boots are a much better footwear option in the medina than the flipflops I would normally wear and leave you with a more unhygenic tactile experience.

Embarrassing Moment: Did I mention I have a party to attend tonight? And the only person I know is the host, Karla. AND it's being taped by House Hunters International? And did I tell you how much I hate my hair and the fact that no one else will know that I never wear my hair like that. Nor will they know that I know that it looks ridiculous. And I will forever be known as that girl from that party with the Bon Jovi hair. Maybe I'll get lucky and my hair will not debut on television so I can be that girl in the party seen on House Hunters with the Bon Jovi hair.

Discomfort Level: 9 (Wearing a thong to a party where I didn't know anyone that was being taped for television would have bumped it to a 10.)



Relief. My hair is pulled back. I'm sporting some a little too big for me thrift store jeans, thus the belt. You can't expect to get cute thrift store jeans in pristine condition that actually fit correctly. Come on. Something has to give. That's why they were $5. I love this funky white shirt, but I won't wear by itself because it's got those yellow pit stains. Which I don't think are in fashion right now. So I threw this sweater on over it. My favorite part of this outfit is the jewelry Jade made for me last year which everyone compliments all day. I'm super stoked about the shoes, cause they're cute and seem like they'd be really comfortable. Except by the end of the day they chewed up the back of my heels. But I wore them the whole day anyhow, because I told myself I would, even though I begged myself to allow myself to take them off. But, I didn't because I'm a b-yatch like that to myself.

Embarrassing Moment: Ember says my hair looks messy, which is a repeat of her comment yesterday. And she won't stop asking me where I'm going. I insist it's no where special, but she totally doesn't believe me. She's positive that I'm spending my day at some super awesome party that she wasn't invited to. In fact, I think she thinks I spend all my days that way. Now I'm on the defense to prove that I'm in fact not having fun in her absence. Which I'm embarassed to say, I actually do have a lot of fun in her absence. But not intentionally of course. And I would never tell her so.

Discomfort Level: 6 (It could've been a 3, if it weren't for those damn shoes that b-yatch made me wear all day while she went and had fun.)



Today is gonna be awesome because I'm completely pulling my hair back. Which makes me totally comfortable. How can't this day be awesome? Oh, and I'm wearing my favorite clogs which my torn up heels are totally thanking me for. I love the scoop back on this shirt, but soon discover my back is chilled. But not enough to let my hair down to cover it. I've never worn the cute bracelet before, which is made out of tortoise shell or bull horns. Ok, I'm not exactly sure. But it's sliding on my arm and poking me and slowly driving me insane like Chinese water tortoure. But it's not as uncomfortable as those super cute earrings made out of wood or is it lead? Cause they're stretching my earlobes. But that's cool right now, stretched ear lobes right? And bonus, now I can store small objects in my earlobes. Like a pencil. Or a thimble. Cause everyone needs a good storage spot for a thimble. Or my chapstick. Genius.

Embarrassing Moment: When I explain to my husband at the end of the day how uncomfortable I was all day as I put on my pj's early to escape any further discomfort, he reminds me I'm doing this to myself. I explain that I must do this because I told myself I would. And then he remembers exactly how stubborn and silly I am. And that he actually knew that before we got married. And he married me anyway. Who's embarrassed now?

Discomfort Level: 7 (Bulls horns should not be worn, unless you are in fact a bull.)



Ok, I'm excited today because I have this crocheted vesty thing I got at a thrift store for $3 several years ago. I haven't worn it, cause I didn't know exactly what to do with it. So, I just stuck it under a scoopy shirt I had and I'm kinda excited. Cause I think it's totally funky in a cool way. And I'm wearing my hair half up. But that means that the other half is down. Which is funky in a not so cool way, but I'm running out of options. Especially without a working hairdryer. Not to mention, my complete lack of hair skills. On the upside, these pants are so comfortable and fit perfectly. Why don't I wear them? And the shoes? These are the shoes I always wear on a trip because they're stylish and comfortable. I bought them in Hawaii about 15 years ago, which probably means they actually aren't stylish anymore. But they are still comfortable.

Embarrassing Moment: Sky sees what I'm wearing this morning before he goes to school. And asks, "Are you wearing that all day?" "Yup." I reply. "Are you embarrassed that I'm coming to your presentation at school today dressed like this?" He says, "Yup." So of course I did. And when it's all over. He's embarrassed I didn't take a picture of him doing his presentation. What? I would have been the only parent taking photos. And in doing so, I would have drawn a lot of attention to myself and my embarrassing outfit by standing up to take a picture. Clearly, I can not win this battle. Whatever I do or don't do is bound to be embarrassing simply because I'm his mother.

Discomfort level: 6 (It would have been a 4 if it wasn't for the half down hair. So I split the difference in half and came up with 6. You can check my math.)



TGIF. Speaking of which. Rabat has a TGIFridays restaurant, but it doesn't have a bar. Isn't that the whole purpose of Fridays? To get a drink at the bar? Or is it all the flair? Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Today I'm working the loose side bun which I would argue is not the same as the tight bun in the back I wore on Wednesday. I'm wearing the Jenny sweater dress I bought at the mall from the Jenny on the Block post. It's warm and it's comfortable. The jeans are comfortable. The earrings are fun and not heavy. Just like Fridays are supposed to be. Cool. Casual. But with a little flair. But, those beaded thongs? Not comfortable. And yes, the ones on my feet. Dispite this, this is undoubtably my favorite outfit of the week.

Embarrassing Moment: Ok, in all honestly the day isn't over yet. I'm still in this outfit as I type. But I imagine the embarrassing moment to be me chasing down the House Hunters taping crew to steal the tape so that any footage of my hair is destroyed. I would also berate them (again) for having them shoot scenes of Karla riding a horse on the beach. Because clearly they should shoot footage of her riding a camel on the beach. Duh. This is Morocco. Really, get it together House Hunters. But that's probably after I take off my thong that is digging into my foot and show up in Sky's class waving it to get his attention and shout "I just came because I forgot to tell you how much I love you before you left for school this morning honey! Oh, let me get a picture of you with your friends while I'm here!" And, I still have time to do this before school lets out...

And if you're just dying to know how I normally dress you can check out the before post here.

16 comments:

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Okay, this post was SO entertaining. I had to read the camel-on-the-beach part out loud to my hubby. Hysterical!

Kara said...

We have the exact same hair so I understand COMPLETELY. And stubbornly wearing shoes while they chew up your heels? I get that too.

(p.s. Love the line about storing thimbles in your stretched earlobes.)

Cerebrations.biz said...

I hadn't had this much fun since I watched my daughters playing with their dolls (yes, one of them was a Barbie...)

Anonymous said...

I actually think your hair is so BEAUTIFUL curly!!! I have straight hair so I obviously get really tired of it but seriously, your natural hair looks great!

Dangerous Linda said...

Hi, Marie! ~

I like the outfit with the crocheted vesty thing the best. Also, your hair is beautiful when you wear it down.

What I've learned about long hair is that is not just a fashion accessory, it's a whole 'nother relationship.

I'm grateful that my stylist picks out my clothes each day because I don't want that responsibility -- haha!

The Loerzels said...

Thanks Linda! I will be wearing that outfit again, I really liked it too. But with my hair up...

The Loerzels said...

Dwij--cool, I didn't know if people outside Morocco would know it's ridiculous to ride a horse and not a camel at the beach.

The Loerzels said...

Kara--I'm sorry we have the same hair. My sympathies.

The Loerzels said...

And Roy...your comment kinda scares me a little.

The Loerzels said...

And at Anon....I would gladly trade you.

Leah Griffith said...

Marie, I can't tell you how entertaining this post was. I went back to look at the "before" post too. Hysterical!! You brought a big fat smile to my face, which btw was badly needed. It made me want to do a make-over blog! LOL!!
Actually, you looked good in everything that you wore. My make-over video would involve lots of crying and tantrums;)

Thanks for being so brave and honest. This was a blast!

The Loerzels said...

Oh please Leah DO IT!!!

A Brilliant Life said...

You get an A for effort lady! You looked great everyday!

Joy Page Manuel said...

You're so funny, Marie. Now you've gotten me curious about that House Hunters Int'l episode. Would you know when they're airing it so I can watch and look out for you? :-))

Christina Williams said...

Aw, I really like the side bun and sweater dress!

The Empress said...

I had forgotten how much I love fashion, and watching women experiment with it.

I live with 3 boys, one husband: and I had a great time here this morning.

I'm going to see if this is a regular feature, b/c I'm starving for what's in/what's possible/what's not in the magazines.

This was fun. Thank you.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...