Jenny From the Block

The day was overcast with a chilly breeze. It was Martin Luther King day, so no one had to work, even though all our kids still had school. But most important, it was Jenny's birthday. And all Jenny wanted to do was go to the mall. (And no, Jenny isn't a 13 year old girl, because again, all the kids are in school.) Doesn't every 35 year old woman want to take her husband and two other couples on a trip to the mall? And why the crap would we be so ungodly excited to go to the mall at our age?


Photo from Google Images

Because we live in Morocco. And this is no ordinary mall. In fact, there is no such thing as an ordinary mall in Morocco. And this one was just opened in December and guess who flew in just to celebrate? Jenny. Well, a different Jenny. Jenny From the Block, Jennifer Lopez. The rumors spread. Was jlo really in country? But more importantly, does the mall really have a Starbucks? Now you may not know that there is no Starbucks in Morocco because the disposible cup and coffee sleeve have not made it to this part of the world yet. Or has it?

So the six of us giddy non-teenagers cram in our minivan (aka: Battlecar Galactica) for the hour and a half journey south to Casablanca. Now this could have been the boring part of the post, but no. Because Craig made Jenny a mixed tape, cause that's what giddy old school non-teenagers do. And this wasn't just any mixed tape. It was all songs about Jenny. And that's when we found out Jenny's (how do I say this delicately).....a slut. I mean if you've ever heard the totally 80's rock ballad Jennifer by Styx. And come on, who hasn't? You already know this.



So after rocking out to songs about how materialistic and slutty Jenny is (which our Jenny isn't, by the way) we arrive at the mall. We know we've arrived because the sign says it in Arabic and French. Look how particularly excited Craig and Mark are.



And inside it looks pretty overly lit and generic, like every other mall.



Then we see it. And we confirm the Starbucks rumor is true. It's really true! Look how happy we are. Even though Jenny abhors coffee, it's just a minor set back because she loves the cups.



The mall also has an American Eagle store and everything's on sale.



Including socks! And if you don't realize how exciting a sock sale is, then you don't live in Morocco. Because while it's cold in winter here, the entire country is strangely void of comfy warm socks. Until now. So Jenny loads up.



Then we find Jenny's store. And super creepy guy who wouldn't stop checking out Jenny's cups and get out of my shot. He was lookin' for a Jenny, if you know what I mean.



Then we stood in wonder, wondering why there is an aquarium at the mall. Wow. Maybe they have really, really fresh fish at the sushi restaurants in the food court. And we're starving. So we go check it out.

Right as we sit down, the call to food prayer starts.



And after we eat, we stop at the bathroom, which is located right next to the mosque. (There is a reason I'm including this detail.) Because when we get in the women's bathroom there are women washing their feet. Which makes sense if this were pre-prayer. But it's not. It's post prayer. And what's even weirder. Women were taking of their hijabs to wash their hair, in the sink. At the mall. I totally wish I had a video or a photo of that, but I was too busy staring.

I also wish I had a photo or video of us making the men go into Zara for men to shop together, but I thought Kevin would kill me. In a major way.



Then we saw the second Starbucks. So we went in for another round. Except Jenny who broke from the pack and returned with ice cream, because again she's a freak who doesn't like coffee.



And she says she didn't let creepy guy buy her the ice cream. But come on, I think we all know the reputation of Jenny at this point.

As we're almost ready to leave, I'm a bit disappointed that we have only purchased socks, coffee and coffee cups at this point. Is this what being middle aged gets you? A trip to the mall to buy life's necessities while listening to a mixed tape? Then, right before we leave us girls head into Zara. And I find a cute sweater dress that's on sale. How practical is that? And Jenny convinces me to get the green one, which I buy without even trying it on. Until a couple days later...



Holy crap. I can't wear this as a dress. I look like Jenny From the Block. Standing on the corner of the block. Oh my god, Jenny has totally Jenny-fied me.