Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Freestyling



This is the second year that all my kids have been in school. So it would seem that I have a lot of real quality alone time with myself. But, I'm really not actually alone all that much. You see, I have a maid and a gardener, they are actually one in the same person. And, that person is a man named Mohammed. He's a conservative Muslim man. And I'm not.

And that's great. Except, there are things I like to do in my own house like roller skate and belly dance. And there are some other things that I won't mention. But, did I mention I don't have tv? So, to be culturally sensitive, I have learned to pencil in these events around his absence.

No biggie, right?

But there's more. Have I ever told you that the house next door to ours has been under construction since we moved in. And when a Moroccan house is under construction, the construction workers live at the house. Yes, LIVE there. So, I currently live next to at least 10 men who are currently working on the 2nd floor of the house, which gives them a clear view into my house 24/7. And this, plus the Mohammed factor inhibit my improvisational "me" time significantly.

All I want to do is belly dance people. Can't I culturally sensitively belly dance in my own home? Alone.

Then, one day I realized that there is one part of the house where no one can see in from the construction site next door, besides the bathroom cause it's a little too small. It's a section of my ginormous bedroom. Yeeeessssss. This is awesome!

Except, I don't have a cd player upstairs. But the boys have a little one somewhere. I frantically look for it. But, it's nowhere to be found. So, I bring the laptop upstairs to play my belly dance music on. But, the "good" computer will only play the first 30 seconds of a song before it mysteriously stops. So I got the older crap laptop that won't run off batteries, so I have to find a transformer to plug it into, so the Moroccan voltage input to my American computer doesn't fry it. So then I'm sneaking downstairs through my empty house, which seems especially ridiculous. When I return, the archaic computer does not automatically play the cd when it's put in. So, I search for an inordinately long amount of time to find a program that will play it. Finally, I'm all set to begin when I look out the window directly in front of me that faces my other neighbor. And a worker is on her balcony. Looking directly at me. In my workout clothes and zils. Crap. I've been caught belly dancing in the privacy of my own home. After I close the curtains, out of nowhere the crap ass lap top stops working. After all that set up. Are you kidding me?

All I want to do is dance.

I bought it on Sunday. My own little cd player that I won't let anyone else in my house touch. And that's how I learned free styling is not free. It costs about $20. And I think that's a small price to pay for freedom.



So now I can put on any funky ass oriental song I want and freestyle to my hearts content upstairs in my bedroom with the curtain closed on Tuesdays and Thursdays when Mohammed doesn't work.

Like today.



And I need my dance therapy to combat my perfectionism. Like, it's killing me how flawed this dance is. And why do I make ridiculous faces when I dance? Actually I know the answer. It's because I always make ridiculous faces. Like all the time. And that's why I'm going to post this right now before I change my mind. And create a new blog tab called Therapy. Hoping that I can be freed of my chronic and debilitating perfectionism through the imperfection of free styling. Not to mention my terminal shyness. Cause I'm pretty sure actual therapy would cost more than $20.

18 comments:

JL said...

Greetings Loerzels!

My wife and I are looking at possibly moving to Rabat and teaching at RAS. Would you mind if we e-mailed you and asked you some questions about your experiences both with the area and the school? You can contact me at jeffrey.d.layman (at) gmail.com

If this is not preferable for you, I understand and you can delete this comment. Thanks for your time!

SherilinR said...

how crazy to never really feel like you're alone in your own house. i'm glad you found a place where you can shake your groove thang and enjoy yourself without being under the watchful eye of some native man who might disapprove. or maybe approve a little too much.

Cerebrations.biz said...

So, how often do you review your tapes to see how you are progressing. I am NOT an expert on this subject, having only seen two bona fide bellydancing efforts. But, it certainly reminds me of the quality of what I've seen.
So, enjoy your new toy- and, maybe, get a few more drapes (with a sign on the other side saying, I'm having my private time...)

Sine said...

I SO feel for you. I've recently taken up the violin again (after keeping it in a closet since I was 16) and I will only practice it when no one, not even the maid, is in my house. I LOVE the days there is no maid here, which I know sounds very spoiled to the people back home who would LOVE the days when there IS a maid there.

Barbara said...

Wishing you tons of privacy in your own home, I have another problem: my dog is very musical and does not like me to practice when she is around, so there we have our vicious circle! And that dog does not clean and look after the garden.
Love the way you put it "Hoping that I can be freed of my chronic and debilitating perfectionism through the imperfection of free styling."

Joy said...

I think my comment just disappeared (?). I'll try again....Okay....So I was saying how I can relate to having an older laptop that won't run on batteries anymore...And that it must be so tough not having the privacy you need in your own home. But maybe with your new 'portable' baby and some blinds/thick curtains, you'd be able to dance away more often! :-)

Leah Griffith said...

I would go crazy being under the watchful eye of so many but you have made it seem like a playful challenge. Hip rolls, thrusts, and shimmies... I love it! LOL!! You know Marie, you really are quite good!
Thanks for my morning giggle. I can always count on you to entertain me;)
Opah!

The Loerzels said...

Thanks! I just got this new Rachel Brice dvd and I'm totally obsessed with it (and her)...and I really think I want to go tribal! Of course I want to do banked track roller derby and go back to flat track roller dery and stay with oriental dance too...

Dangerous Linda said...

i'm so glad i didn't read this till AFTER i finished my current post or i might have just said "f*#k it!" i'm pretty sure you have no idea how how inspiring you are!

one thing's for sure, i'm going to do a blog with a video before the end of 2012!

thank you for setting the bar so high -- i love that in a friend!

Anna and Kim said...

Hey, you are really getting good at the belly dancing! I'm very impressed.

Travelin' GRITS said...

I must agree...your belly dancing has a certain flair that didn't exist in previous video posts! By george, I think you've got it, girl! And as far as alone time in your house, well...it's a toss up to what's more important: the alone time or the extra help!

Lalia said...

That much lack of privacy would drive me crazy. I too have a lot of alone time and I love it.

Hajra said...

I love your expressions ;) I mean you are such a wonderful dancer; why so nervous?

Worried someone might be peeping through the window? ;)

Shell said...

Yay for finding some space for yourself!

Zafira said...

Great shimmy! You've really gotten the hang of it!! You know there are some really excellent teachers in CO, don't give it up when you move home. My last trip to Morocco was to Fes, Marrakech and Safi. I'll be back again, probably June. This time I'm going to be looking for work. I really want to move to Morocco and I enjoy reading your blog to remind me of all the fun craziness in Morocco!

Zafira said...

BTW, I really like the song you are dancing to, do you know what it is?

The Loerzels said...

Thanks Zafira! The song is from a cd I bought here in Morocco simply entitled Belly Dance Volume 1 and the song is called Solo Tablah. But a lot of songs have that title. So I don't know that that's helpful. I hope that you get to live your Moroccan dream!

MuMuGB said...

20 Dollars is a small price to pay to feel free in your own house...You are a natural! I love your routine. You also seem to have a very flat tummy. How did you do it (I try to stay in shape but it is really hard work!)

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