Monday, April 13, 2015

Mom Guilt

It happens almost immediately when a woman becomes a mother.  But over the years it accumulates and compounds, making it seem that much more insurmountable.  Like it's your destiny.  The great legacy that moms pass down to their daughters when they become grandmothers.  Mom guilt.

Because moms are supposed to be perfect.

Even though no one is perfect. So,  it's completely irrational.  As grown women, we know this.  We can't be Mother Teresa.  And please note, Mother Teresa technically wasn't even a mother.  Not that I'm trying to bash her saintly reputation, I'm just saying, she didn't have to get an exhausted infant not to cry on an airplane full of angry strangers. Or potty train an obstinate toddler.  Or explain the facts of life to a horrified preteen girl.  She also didn't have sit in the passenger seat of her own car to teach inattentive teenage boys how to drive.  Never mind deciphering the college application process.   

So stop expecting yourself to be Mother Teresa already!

I know it's easier said than done.  Cause I do it everyday.  I have unreasonable expectations of myself as a mother.  I compare myself to other moms who appear to do it so much better than me.  I condemn myself for every tiny thing I do wrong and discount the numerous things I do right.  I go out of my way not to embarrass my kids and it unintentionally happens anyway.  I can't win.  And the thing is, there is no winning.  

Mom guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.
Generation after generation.

The above photo is a cherished picture of me and my mom.  I am the last born child of a family of eight and with the birth of each successive sibling, there were fewer photos of each kid.  So, this is one of about three photos of my childhood.  Granted, back in the old days, black and white film was expensive.  Not to mention getting it developed.  Plus, my mom was way too busy taking me to the emergency room to have something else I shoved in my ear or nose extracted.  Because that's what I did for attention back then.  She probably felt guilty about that.  The way that I do about not having as many photos of my youngest.  And I have a digital camera even, so I don't even have an excuse.


joeh said...

Very funny. Also I am sure very accurate.

Marie Loerzel said...

@joeh-Extremely accurate.

Marie Loerzel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Moms Guilt said...

Moms Guilt
, ever feel guilty for doing something just for you? Feel pressure to do it all but feel you lost something along the way to motherhood and/or marriage? JoJo's been there. She can help.


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