Monday, April 20, 2015

Am I a Narcissist?

I'm a 45 year old woman who has a blog, a memoir (with a picture of me on the cover), I'm on 3 social media sites and I selfie.  And since I'm also consumed with self analysis, I've considered more than a few times whether I'm a narcissist or not.  Because surely, from my first sentence, I look like the poster child.  Which is why I've read more than a few books on the subject.  In addition to my addiction to psychology and sociology books.  So I can tell you, definitively...

Narcissism is more than skin deep.  

Being concerned with one's appearance, isn't a symptom of narcissism.  Because narcissists aren't insecure about how they look.  They know they look great.  They also know that they're smarter than you, and they're arrogant enough to make themselves the center of attention because they are entitled to your constant admiration, even if they haven't done anything to deserve it.  And if you don't give it to them outright?  They'll guilt you or trample your feelings to get it.  Because they don't care about your feelings.  Only their own.  Oh, they'll try to pretend like they care, because they're charmingly manipulative. 

And right about now, you're thinking about the narcissist in your life.

Because we all know at least one.  And you can't ignore them because they're jumping up and down waving their arms, interrupting you when you talk and using you as their personal stepping stone to success.   But perhaps the most annoying thing about narcissists, is they don't recognize themselves as being one.  
Which brings me back to me. 

Written like a true narcissist.  Although,  I was pretty sure I'm not a narcissist, but maybe I was deluding myself.  Maybe I'm THAT much of a narcissist that I don't I am.  After all, in this day and age, we all have some narcissistic tendencies.  So, I took a test, just to be sure.  Revealing I actually have self esteem issues, which is on the opposite side of the spectrum from narcissism.  And oddly, lack of self esteem and narcissism can look similar, especially on social media. 

While both are self-absorbed in different ways, 
 the narcissist's success is based on the failure of others.
And since I'm not successful at all, obviously, I'm not a narcissist.

Today is the anniversary of Columbine when two narcissists shooters took pleasure in killing their classmates. Remembering the victims and their families today.


joeh said...

I not only lack self-esteem, but I know I lack more self-esteem than anyone else...does that make me a narcissist?

Penelope said...

My mother was a narcissist and my oldest son is the ultimate narcissist. A true narcissist lives only for him/herself. If they care for anyone else, it is because that person helps their narcissism. They are arrogant beyond belief, hurtful, uncaring about the pain or chaos they leave in their wake, and surround themselves with adoring followers. If that describes you, which I doubt, then you're a narcissist. If not, more likely you're someone who likes and looks for attention - and gets it. A writer.

Anonymous said...

After reading that I conclude I am also not a narcissist
Mackenzie Glanville


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