Monday, January 6, 2014

Inattention to Detail Disorder


I've been asked many times now, how I manage to do what I do with 4 kids.  There is a secret involved.  Ok, a couple of secrets.  First, my kids are all school age.  So provided that no kid is sick or has an orthodontist appointment, they leave on the magic school bus each day.  Secret number two is that I am constantly multitasking and thus multimistaking all at the same time.  Which is why I'm constantly screwing things up.  Even though I have the best intentions.  I swear I do!

When I find things I love, like this ceramic chicken roaster I got at World Market, I get ridiculously excited.  It's got a little pot in the middle of the pan to put beer or wine into it and the chicken sits upright while the veggies get roasted on the bottom.  It's a beautiful thing.  And it was definitely love at first bite.  So, I had to share.  This would be a great gift for Christmas!  So, back in October, right after I tried out my roaster,  I went back and scooped up the last 6 of these off the shelf and I was so totally stoked.

Then things got crazy with the book, as I got closer to publishing.  With everything happening at once, I could barely keep up.  But, I did manage to get some bubble wrap and find just the right flat rate box that it fit perfectly in.  Then I went to my local post office and shipped them all and felt extremely accomplished. They'd all arrive a couple weeks before Christmas even.  And they did.  BROKEN. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.  And I ask you, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?  With me, there's always a very high chance I'm going to screw things up.  The truth is, this has happened before. It was the great ceramic frog incident of 2006.  My brother and sister-in-laws can vouch.

 This is my gift.  Inattention to detail. I have IDD.  Inattention to Detail Disorder.
(You got that IDD?  Yeah, you know me.)

So, Craig asks me.  Did you get insurance on the packages?  Really?  Why would anyone even ask this?  Of course not.  That would involve planning and preparing for the worst.  And obviously, I'm an optimist.  Or just really cheap.  It was several days later when Craig's mom said flat rate boxes are automatically insured.  And miraculously I still had the receipt.  Do you know how big of a liar I felt like claiming that they all broke?  

 I AM NOT A LIAR.  I HAVE IDD.  IT'S A DISEASE!
(Now have pity and give me my money back.)

While I wait what might be years for that claim to be ignored or lost by the USPS, I have replaced it with a Groundhog's Day gift card.  Which I hope does not spontaneously shatter in the envelope I sent it in.  I didn't even think to bubble wrap it.  

ADDENDUM:  Last week I found really cheap tickets to Florida over Spring Break.  (Wait.  Does this story sound familiar?)  Anyway, luckily Craig double checked my work before I purchased them.  Because the dates were in fact two weeks before the kids break from school.  And I'm pretty sure I totally didn't screw up the copyright on the book I just submitted…unless I did.  


5 comments:

Leah Griffith said...

Multi-mistaking—love it!
In all fairness Marie, the USPS is notorious for mishandling packages. Mike & I have an online business and we ship hundreds of pkgs a month. You wouldn't believe how many wind up broken. We've since resorted to double boxing breakables and sending our most valuable packages UPS. Filing an insurance claim with the USPS can be a nightmare so good luck with that.

P.S. I'm loving your book.


Cerebrations.biz said...

Ah, the broken gift syndrome. Own up, Marie- you got them on sale because they were already broken and you shipped them, figuring your recipients would blame the USPS. Oh, wait- that's too much attention to detail :-)...

Thanks for the laugh.

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

I never thought I had that disease, but once in a while it strikes and I am totally shocked. Sigh. As I age it seems to happen more often. Sigh again.

Joy Page Manuel said...

On the bright side, IDD gets things done. Too much attention to detail incapacitates. Analysis Paralysis is my curse obviously. So celebrate your IDD! ;)

Muriel Jacques said...

I have to come clean here: I suck at multi-tasking. I can't do it. I try to less, but better. Easier said than done...

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