Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Sexual Equality

There's no denying it.  Sex makes the world spin.  And your head spin.  So much of our lives are spent consumed with thoughts about something we spend so little time, in comparison, doing.  Unless that's housework.

As my kids get older and become sexual beings.  Ok, just saying that kinda makes me barf in my mouth a little.  I'm sure the way that my kids think about their dad and I being sexual beings does for them.  It's only natural at this stage in the circle of life.  But the thing that has become abundantly clear to me is that there never has been sexual equality.  Nor will there ever be.  Because quite simply, biologically we are completely unequal.

Although I've given the same sex talk to my kids, talking about respect and consequences, love and lust, there's always a glaring difference.  The woman always bears more of the risk.  Obviously the female is the only one who can end up pregnant, but she's also much more likely to get an std, they also tend to be far more dangerous, even deadly in women.  Then there is the social stigma.  And don't even try to tell me it's 2013 and that it's so much better now than it used to be.  Cause that's total and complete crap.

So while I started my kids off with the same introduction to sex speech, I'm far more protective and cautionary with my 12 year old daughter.  (My youngest daughter hasn't gotten "the talk" yet.)  While my oldest has gotten the "some boys are only after one thing speech",  a few times already. The thing is she's a girl.  So, likely, she'll think sex is gross for at least a few more years. INSHALLAH  (god willing). I hope the next couple of years are devoted to finding comfortable, practical, preferably really, really hideous, nunnish-looking bras and panties that don't even come close to matching.

My boys on the other hand, have a sudden and curious interest in my Women's Health magazines and confiscate the Victoria's Secret catalog upon arrival.  Of course this is completely natural.  But what's different now than when I grew up is, free hardcore porn streamed directly to your laptop, phone or i-pod.  Now, I'm no prude, not by any means.  But this isn't catching a glimpse of a Playboy or the soft core Playboy channel pornos from the 80's when they actually had a story line.   With really bad dialogue and a pizza boy.  And in case you live on Mars, if you have a son in middle school, I guarantee you he's seen some hardcore porn.  Even if he's one of the few dorks (speaking as a mother of a dork) that doesn't have a cell phone.  Some other kid at his lunch table does.  And showed him exactly what Debbie does.

The curiosity of what Debbie is doing is of course completely natural, even though she may be doing some of the most unnatural acts known to man.  And I mean super freaky shit. I could go further with that, but I won't.  In fact, this isn't even the blog post I sat down intending to write when I started. But, now that it's almost over, this is what it is people.

My point is, even though there will never be sexual equality, both sexes need to have sexual responsibility.  We as parents need to ensure we instill it in them from a young age.  And checking your kid's phone from time to time isn't a bad thing.  Or at least talk to them about the difference between porn sex and real sex.  Real sex involves funky body odors, awkwardness, occasionally bumping heads in addition to other body parts, farts and other embarrassing noises, condoms and real consequences.  Sometimes colicky ones that cry all night long.

This mom is done with her lecture for the day.  Now, let me check the bathroom for this months Women's Health.  Carry on.


Mountaingmom said...

The teen years are so very scary with regard to sexuality and experimentation. Not all baby daddys are responsibly after the deed is done and the bun is in the oven and some are just proud about how many children they can father. Keep harping on your kids. It is easier to blame Mom and Dad than say No by themselves. said...

Showing my age...
I read the Harrad Experiment when I was about a decade... Not knowing this would create problems with my elementary school, when I whipped it out during quiet reading sessions.
"Where did you get that???"
"In the bookcase at home..."
Among the many times my parents were forced to have a visit with my school...

Anonymous said...

Oh man. Good post. True stuff. Real stuff.

I'll be saving this one away for when my little one gets older. ;)

Alicia M Harris said...

Marie you make me laugh and shudder at the same time! It brings me back to my "chats" with both my son & my daughter. I swear that I was more unsure of what I was saying than they were of what they were hearing!! ;)
I survived ... you will too!
Good luck!

The Loerzels said...

@ teen years are so exciting and so scary all at the same time. I wish I could apologize to my mom right now!
@ Roy-I had to look up that reference. And let me just say, SCANDALOUS!
@ Momma-The saying...."little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems" ....all makes sense at this stage.
@ Alicia-So there's hope???


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