Monday, October 28, 2013

Black Magic

Every year we have a Halloween party.  I handle the food, invitation, cleaning, cooking and nuts and bolts of the operation.  While Craig heads up the fun and games committee doing the decorations and scavenger hunt.  Craig claims he does this all for me because I love Halloween.  But, I don't think it's all as selfless as it seems.  Because he loves this stuff and is completely meticulous, going way above and beyond every year.  He started building things for the party a couple days after his near fatal fall off the ladder.  And I couldn't stop him.

He made this winged tombstone.

And this one, he worried might offend some people.

Rounded out with your standard RIP, just to keep it traditional and classy.

And this one, the open grave to freak everyone the hell out.

Then he made a cemetery sign to tie it all together.

Now, he's doing all this with his one good arm and a broken face looking like a version of Frankenstein.  My sister sent him this nut cracker that bore a striking resemblance.  What's funny is when  Craig was in the hospital with a concussion and didn't know what happened, he made it a priority to check and revel in the fact that his nuts were ok.  No joke.  Making the nutcracker even more hilarious.

Ember was completely alarmed when on the morning of the party she saw this.  And came running to me concerned.  "MOM, DAD'S ON A LADDER AGAIN!"  This time, he didn't fall on his head, thank god.

But, he did make a Ouija board from scratch for the party. 

And a psycho killer in our shower stall.  

He even made a chalk outline of exactly where he landed on the driveway just a few weeks before.  If you look close, you can still see the eriee real-life blood stain he left behind.

 One of our friends came to the party dressed as Craig.
(I'm sure his nuts are ok too.  Although I didn't ask.)

This is Craig and I at the party.  Do you know what we are?


Near the end of the night, while the kids took over the karaoke machine, one of my friends suggested a group of us ladies go down into the basement and play with the Ouija board.  Why not?  It's just board with some Sharpe on it. It's not like it's gonna work or anything. 

But, I was wrong.

The six of us sat around the board lit by a black light.  Two friends started by welcoming the spirits and putting their hands on the planchette.   And we all freaked the hell out when it started moving.  Without anyone pushing it.  In fact, they were barely touching it.  And then we had no idea what the hell to do.  So we asked it it's name.  And whether my friend Judy would take that dream trip to Italy. It painfully slowly creeped to "yes".  Which leads me to believe she may have to kayak to get there.

Then, it was my turn.  

And these days, I have one big question on my mind. Will I get published?  And it went crazy.  Linda and I had our hands on it and it swirled madly across the outer edges of the board about 3 times before it landed on the sun.  Meaning.  Ask me in the morning, I'm not a night person.  Or.   Something good is going to happen.  And all of us were completely freaked out.  

Before we went to bed, Craig put the board outside.

Despite this, I still couldn't sleep.  Going over and over whether we had said "goodbye" to the spirits before we left to go upstairs.  We did.  And now, I'm going to pack up the Ouija board and not use it again.  Probably.

Craig asked me if I wanted him to destroy it.  But that seems even scarier than keeping it.  Maybe we should bury it in the open grave...

6 comments: said...

You were going to bury it "alive"?

Chantel said...

Yeah, burying it alive might lead places....or what if it turns all "seed" on you and GROWS??

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

What Chantel said. Also, I am mightily impressed by your party preparations and amused by the neighbor who dressed as your injured husband. Happy Halloween.

The Loerzels said...

@ Roy-On second thought....
@Chantel-Ouija spawn=not good
@BOG-It's our biggest party of the year! And to be honest, I'm still exhausted....

Leah Griffith said...

Oh, out of my house it would go! LOL! You don't need that thing to tell you that you WILL be published. Next time pay me a fiver and I'll tell your future. I love the preparations and Halloween fun you guys have. So creative!
Okay...I give up. Who were you guys? I was thinking Tonya Harding and her henchman. LOL!

The Loerzels said...

@ Leah-Thank you woman! And we're Bloody Mary and White Russian!


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