Monday, July 29, 2013

She a Gold Digger


Sometimes there is a misperception of what it's like to be a doctor's wife.  First of all, I'm not a trophy wife.  I don't have a maid (anymore) and I don't eat caviar (except when I'm on Kanye's expensive yacht....which I haven't been. Yet.)  No, if I wanted all those things I'd be married to a brain surgeon or a plastic surgeon.  Some kind of surgeon.  Not a pediatrician.  As a pediatrician's wife, what I get is the recurrent strep throat my husband brings home for me and the frequent questions of other mothers like.... "If my child has a stubbed toe and a fever of 99.1, should I keep them home from school?" Dude, I didn't go to medical school, but the answer on the street is "Hell, no, send that child to school!"  Which usually is the right answer.  At least in my house.

Sometimes when people meet me at a party and they know I pole dance and have adopted kids and I don't say much because I have social anxiety.  Well,  from time to time, people make judgements.  Like I'm the second wife my husband picked up at the strip club and I don't talk because I don't have anything to say.  And if I do say something, it's bound to be served up extremely dry with a straight face, which baffles humorless people. They just don't get me or my awkwardness. Which is a fantastic weeding out process at a party.  But, sometimes, the perception remains, that I'm a gold digger.

First of all, I don't even like gold.  I prefer the silver looking nickel plated jewelry that American Eagle serves up, but I'll only buy it on sale.  Or at a thrift store or garage sale.  Unless you want to get all snooty and call it a yard sale.  

Second of all, this is the only gold digging I do....   



... it's really dry here in Colorado and those pokey nuggets hurt like hell in there.

So don't judge me!

7 comments:

Cerebrations.biz said...

I;m sorry- I'm positive that Craig knows you ARE his trophy wife!

Joy Page Manuel said...

I'm with you on not being a 'gold person' (and being too practical for crazy expensive stuff!). A pole-dancing, attractive, intelligent and funny wife...Well that rare combination sounds like a major trophy to me! ;-))

Sandra said...

Yeah kind of have to agree with Celebrations.biz...you are sooooo a trophy wife
And I'd totally be playing up that second wife from the strip club shit! :) Just wait till you're swinging from that pole at your book signing. That'll baffle them! :)

Hajra said...

Like Joy said, you are intelligent, extremely funny and attractive! You are a trophy! :)

The Loerzels said...

@ Roy-I guess I'll have to ask him.
@ Joy-Thank you!
@Sandra-My hands would be way too sweaty at a book signing to stay on a pole!
@Hajra-Extremely funn? I like it! Thanks!

MuMuGB said...

People judge all the time. It is what makes them happy I suppose. I have learned that there is no point in fighting cliches, etc. Just behave like a trophy wife. Play it up. Passionately kiss your hubby in public. After all, you have got to give people what they want, right?

Blogger said...

I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the hottest virtual strippers on my desktop.

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