Monday, January 7, 2013

Where in the World...? (Part Trois)


This is the travel series where I give you bizarre clues and you guess where in the world we went on vacation. Thus the name. It's pretty self-explanatory, but just in case that illuded you.

It took us 3 flights and 17 hours of traveling to get there.


Utensils are kept sanitary in plastic bags for your protection.

The cats out of the bag that it's the place to get plastic surgery. Because doctors aren't required to be protected by malpractice insurance here it's relatively cheap. Did you really want your boobs big AND symmetrical anyway?


Drinks in restaurants come with ice. Although do you really want your bottled water poured into a glass with ice made from tap water? No matter how safe the server tells you it is.

Recycling is huge here. And by recycling I don't mean an old guy digging through the dumpster because he's a freegan.


Some of the locals have really leathery skin from sun exposure.

(Some tourists should remember to pack the good sunscreen from home so they don't fry their children when they buy and beach test the local water-resistant crap which turns out is doesn't resist anything. Slutty sunscreen.)

Oh, and it's illegal to swim with dolphins there.


It's also a hot bed for small pox.

Ok, this isn't actually small pox. Although, small pox might have been preferable to those *&^%$^ &^%$^&* mosquito bites.

Cause some dumbass forgot to pack that shit too.


While this peaceful country doesn't have a military.

Everyones got a machete.


The cuisine is bland, uninspired and constipating.

Unless you experience some Montezuma's revenge.

In which case, you'll spend a lot of time of the toilet inspired to investigate why you must put the toilet paper you wipe your ass with in the trash can next to the crapper. It's because the pipes throughout the entire country are too small to accomodate it. They obviously haven't had a constipated kid flush a titanic size poo down it.

Warning: Do not leave the states to become an apprentice plumber here.


You know how back in the 90's there was a TCBY in every strip mall and you used to go there all the time with your Rachel haircut and/or Chandler shirt? Then suddenly without warning they became extinct? You'll be happy to know that your favorite frozen yogurt chain is alive and well. It just went on vacation. To....


Quick, guess before you scroll down.















COSTA RICA!

Oh, and if you're wondering why it took us 3 flights and 17 hours to get there. It's because I didn't know there was a two and a half hour direct flight from Colorado Springs to San Jose, Costa Rica. Until a week after I booked it. When my friend Judy told me. Luckily, I did not have a machete in my hand at the time.


You can read our first Where in the World...?
here

And Where in the World...? (Part Deux)
here

6 comments:

Joy Page Manuel said...

I cheated. To the right of the TCBY photo, there's a banner that says Costa Rica ;-) I hope you're at least having as much fun as I did in reading this!...at least! Happy New Year!

Cerebrations.biz said...

Ah- I would have guessed CR- except for your flight time. That reminds me of one of the last secretaries I ever had- the one who booked me on a cheap flight from Charlottesville to Peoria...it took 8 hours and stopped four times. All to save me (her words, not mine) $ 45...

The Empress said...

Never would have guessed, and I've been there twice.

xo

The Loerzels said...

@ Joy-Dammit! I was so busy today I didn't check that to crop it. I suck!
@ Roy- We saved WAY more than $45, but lost our minds with all the kids freakin' whining.
@Empress-My job here is done then!

MuMuGB said...

What a lovely way to describe Costa Rica! It sounds like you had fun! As for flights, I am just like you. I never manage to get the right one!

Samantha Bangayan said...

Haha! This was super fun!! =) It was my first "Where in the World" and I totally lost, but I guessed somewhere in Latin America only because I have to go through that whole tissue paper in the trash can thing in Peru too. =P

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