Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Why I Like My Dogs More Than My Teenagers

Next month I'll have two teenagers in my house. When my 4 kids were little, I used to dream of how different things would be when they got older. No diapers to change, no cowering over the edge of the bathtub to bathe them. I wouldn't step on the sharp corner of legos buried deep in the carpet anymore. Grocery shopping would become a solo event without my entourage of munchkins clammering for that sugary cereal I never buy. Day to day life was going to get easier. Of course, I was dead wrong.

The following are the reasons why I like my dogs more than my teenagers.

MY TEENAGERS: Don't like anything I cook.
MY DOGS: Love when I cook and beg me for just a taste, they'll even eat if off the floor.

MY TEENAGERS: Are embarrassed to be seen with me.
MY DOGS: They'll go anywhere with me, hell, they'll even kiss me in public.

MY TEENAGERS: Whine for an hour about doing homework, complain while doing it, then, forget to turn it in and get credit for it.
MY DOGS: They don't have homework. Thank god.

MY TEENAGERS: Leave their crap all over the house.
MY DOGS: I happpily bag their crap because I don't have to nag them to do it. Because they can't because they don't have opposible thumbs or speak English

MY TEENAGERS: Don't look up from the computer screen when I come home.
MY DOGS: Jump up and down when they see me, even if they just saw me a minute ago.

MY TEENAGERS: Are interested in the opposite sex and my Women's Health magazine.
MY DOGS: Can't unexpectadly make me a grandma.

MY TEENAGERS: Stay up until the wee hours of the evening and find it hard to get up the next morning.
MY DOGS: Wake their asses up and threaten to wee wee on the carpet if the kids don't take them out at the crack of dawn.

MY TEENAGERS: Always want to go hang out with their friends.
MY DOGS: Are content to stay home and snuggle with me.

MY TEENAGERS: Are never content, no matter what they have.
MY DOGS: Only need a $2 squeak toy. Actually, they only need a stick. And that's free.

MY TEENAGERS: Think I don't know what I'm talking about. Ever.
MY DOGS: Don't give a shit.

Don't worry, it's reciprocal, kinda like chasing your own tail. My teenagers like the dogs more than me too. But let's call it a truce and just let sleeping dogs lie, shall we?


SherilinR said...

teenagers seem scary now that i'm a mom. i'm not ready.

Chantel said...

Lol....LOL! *wiping tears* Ah love, the best is yet to come!

The Loerzels said...

@ Sherilin-No one is ever ready.
@ Chantel-I can hardly wait.

Sine said...

100% agreed on the teenager part! I don't have dogs, but maybe I need to get me some so there'll be somebody in my house I can like.

Barbara said...

What a wonderful post, we have been through all this and the only thing we really agreed on was that we both liked our dog better than each other! And shall I be nice to you now and say: wait, there is worse to come but we shall let sleeping dogs lie ...

Joy Page Manuel said...

Now I fully understand why people get dogs. Maybe in the near future I will finally agree with my hubby about getting a dog. Hmmm.....we'll see...... ;-))

Cerebrations.biz said...

Your dogs may not make you a grandma, but that litter could be a bit more than you desire...

Adriene said...

Ah yes, I remember this feeling! You'll like your teenagers again by the time they contemplate leaving home!

MuMuGB said...

I think that you are just normal. Teenagers are hard work. Dogs, by comparison, look much easier! Ah, the joy of being a parent!

joy said...

Agree about teenagers:) What a funny story. Drooping by from best post of the week. My entry: The kingdom: willyouhearfromme.blogspot.com

Hajra said...

Dogs do win this battle :)


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