Thursday, June 23, 2016


I have a gift.  Although it's not gifting things to other people.  Because I'm terrible at that.  It's not for lack of thought either.  In fact, if anything, I over think my way out of buying things for people because I'll convince myself it's not perfect enough.  Kinda the way I do with everything else.

My gift is screwing things (like gifts) up.  

Unfortunately, I'm married to a stellar gift giver.  Somehow he's able to look deep into the recipient's soul, then hand selects and presents the perfect present.   Do you know how stressful this is?  Creating an imbalance in our marriage.  I can't compete with this!  Not that this is a competition.  But, really it kind of is.  Even though he told me it doesn't matter.  I know it totally does.

 Because relationships are all about reciprocity. 

So, I started thinking about what to get my husband for Father's Day.  I thought about all the things he likes to do.  Fixing old cars, gardening, bird watching, camping, hiking and being outdoors.  Then it came to me.  I'd get him a kayak or a paddle board.  Except, somehow, without me saying a word or leaving an open window researching these things on-line, he figured it out.  "Don't get me a kayak or a paddle board, ok?"


Back to square one.  Then I did what everyone else does to convey their love and gratitude for the man in their life.   I got him stuff for the grill.  Namely, a pizza stone and salt plates that you throw on the grill and cook on infusing food with a subtle Himalayan pink saltiness.  Then I showed the kids.  "This is all stuff you like, mom", my youngest and most direct child informed me.  And she was totally right.  I'd just bought myself a Father's Day gift.  

Because shopping for someone else guarantees you'll find a gift... 
for yourself. 

It was immediately after that, a couple weeks before Father's Day when my husband handed me a list, a cheat sheet, of things he wanted.  Ok, so now I could redeem myself in like a super lame way.  But still, redemption is redemption.  And I was beyond caring at this point.  I was going to reciprocate so hard.   So, I ordered an item that seemed perfect; a scope for him to look at birds.  This was definitely a selfless act of love that would represent how much I appreciate him, because I hate birds.   I know that makes me a horrible person, but I think I've already clearly established that at this point.  

There's nothing like giving someone the perfect gift.

Of course, that's not what I did though.  I ordered the wrong one.  I had a list and I ordered the wrong scope.  Because, I'll say it again, I'm gifted at screwing up!  I did ask him for a clickable list next time.  How can I screw that up?  I'm positive there's a way.  And that I'll find it.

(Also, it's my daughter Jade's 15th birthday today.
She will not be getting the horse on her list.
But she'll be able to drive a car she doesn't even need a horse.)

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