Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Friend Zone

I made some of my closest friends when my kids were little.  We were bonded and bound by motherhood.  The joys and the frustrations.  Clogging our vacuums with Legos and Polly Pockets.  Making impulse Costco purchases of 100 organic gummies made from vegetable juice our kids wouldn't eat.  Held captive somewhere between the HOA and the PTO.  The mommy scowl lines and burgeoning gray hairs acting as souvenirs of the journey.  But, more importantly, we had each other to share a laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. And to mock our ungrateful kids behind their backs.

Because that's what friends do.  

Except we don't get to do it all that much anymore. Because once your kids are out of elementary school, you don't see your friends anymore.  Middle school law explicitly states that if parents volunteer at the school their kid's social life will be DOA.  This is why the few remaining stay-at-home mom (or dad) friends are likely to go back to work full time.  So, there will be no random run-ins at the grocery store, library or pool in the middle of the day that will lead to an impromptu get together later.  And forget evenings, because in the evening, we're all nagging our kids to stop texting and get their homework done and then schlepping them to sports and driver's ed.  Sure, we could pick up the phone and call each other and plan dates to get together and see each other like the Pilgrims did, but who does that?  Plus, we're just too busy embarrassing our teenagers. 

That's when you realize, 
you've bequeathed your social life to your kids.

And I'm sure our kids are doing all the things we did when we had social lives.  Like lacking good judgment.  Remember how fun that was?  And mocking us, their embarrassing parents, behind our backs.  For nagging them incessantly and then needing their help when the computer/iphone/ipod/remote does that weird thing.  And after several tutorials with my teens, I still don't get why it does that thing or how to fix it.  Which seems like a small price for our kids to pay for taking away our whole entire great big friend zone if you ask me.  Not that anyone did.  And even if they did, they wouldn't listen to the answer anyway.   Especially the teenagers, because they'd be too zoned out.  

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