Friday, February 20, 2015

In the Driver's Seat

I'd dreaded the day for 16 years.  And yesterday was that day.  My oldest got his driver's license.  

“Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” 
― Elizabeth Stone

Now, my heart is no longer walking outside me.  It's driving.  A car.  At fast speeds.  With strangers.  Who could be high, drunk, texting or taking selfies while driving.  Or just plain stupid.  Or all of the above.

I'm no longer in the driver's seat.
My son is.

Which scares the shit out of me.  It's not that he's not an incredible kid.  He is.  He has a take charge attitude, he's smart, kind, thoughtful, empathetic and hard working.  It's just that he's 16 with miles of road ahead of him with lots of potholes, caution signs and road work.  And he's not going to see all of them.  Because none of us do.  And my role as co-pilot is being phased out slowly.  I never even taught him how to drive a stick yet.  But, he knows enough.  And he'll learn the rest with experience.

Cause he's in the driver's seat now.


joeh said...

Been there, done that, doing it again...very scary.

Joy Page Manuel said...

I can imagine the fear, really I can. It's always been hard for me to let go and relinquish control so having a child drive and just be without us will definitely drive me crazy. And you're right that even if our children are responsible there's a bunch of crazies out there. Breathe deep and pray hard. I guess that's all we can do as these kids grow and spread their wings. *hugs*


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