Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Case of the Lost Keys

It was a chaotic Monday morning just like any other, but I had a 9am pole dance class to look forward to.  Which made pushing the kids out the door after a long, long weekend of family togetherness even more rewarding.  When they were finally all gone, after a brief moment of solitary bliss, I went to leave for my class.  But, I couldn't find my keys.  I looked in all the usual places, to no avail.  There are two things that drive me completely crazy, losing things and staying home all day.  And today combined them both.

My keys were lost.  And so was I.  

After an extensive search, I called my husband to see if perhaps he had accidentally taken my keys.  And as we replayed the events of the previous day we concluded that my oldest son used them last when he moved the car the afternoon before.  So I called him.  And texted him.  While seething.  Of course, he was in class and had no idea I was a prisoner in my own home.  And head.  But finally, mid-day after more looking, re-looking and obsessing over my keys, he got back to me.  No, he didn't have them.  Which only made me certain he didn't even look.  

Which only made me more obsessed and more enraged.

And even though I was positive the keys were in his cargo shorts pocket, it didn't stop me from tearing the house apart.  Looking in new more obscure places like the cleaning closet.  I mean who would go in there?  And old places I'd already looked about a hundred times.  I kept telling myself to stop searching, but somehow that only fed my urgent need to find them even more.  Until he came home from school and I was nearly in tears.  Because by this time, I realized that the keys to the safe where our passports are kept are also on that ring.  And I didn't want breaking into the safe and then replacing the safe on my to-do list.  Among other things.  Although my son assured me again, he did not have the keys, he did do a good faith search to help me find them.  Which after about a half an hour, he did.  

Right here. 

Now, I know what you're going to say, "Good god woman, you're a moron! They are right there on that hook on the side of the fridge."  And yes, this is completely true and valid.  However, I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT HOOK BEFORE IN MY LIFE!  Neither had my son or my other son. Trust me,  I did a full CIA interrogation. Until I called my husband again.  He'd found the hook in the Halloween decorations the day before, but did not put my keys on it.  Jade did because she thought it was the perfect place to store the keys.

RIGHT THERE IN PLAIN SIGHT!
My name is Marie and I'm a moron.






9 comments:

Joy Page Manuel said...

I could really imagine you tearing your house apart and it reminded me of that Bugs Bunny episode where Sylvester was searching for a can opener (which the mouse took just to torture him). LOL!

Leah Griffith said...

Hahahaha!!!
Sorry, but it is funny. I hate days like that. Actually, I'm sort of having one today, although it doesn't deal with lost items, it does indeed deal with being handed a day that looks nothing like the day I anticipated.
Big sigh.
Glad you found your keys, Marie;)

Jules said...

I love being reassured that there are other people, just like me, misplacing important items on a regular basis. Usually, it's my phone, but the best story is of the time I lost my keys on Tuesday, June 26th, 2014 while evacuating from the Waldo Canyon Fire. I had the kids and all our important stuff loaded into the van, and we were ready to go. Except, I couldn't find the damn keys! After a few minutes of desperately searching in the midst of an already panicked situation, I remembered I had had a spare made for $70, which I thought to be pretty expensive, but boy, was I glad I had done that! I found them a week later, when we were allowed to go back to our house, on top of the washing machine of all places.

joeh said...

I have a spare car key...someplace.

Marie Loerzel said...

@ Joy- Maybe Jade did do it on purpose....
@Leah-Feel better my friend!
@Jules-Dang that's a panic attack moment right there! And glad your house was ok!
@Joeh-Ha! My husband had the other set at work....

Muriel Jacques said...

I have a problem with keys and cards. I keep forgetting where I put them.
I wish that, in this day and age, they would have found a solution to hidden keys. And just like you, I would have freaked out if the keys were not where they are supposed to be.

Amy Brown said...

I have similar problems. I can't decide whether the Apple Tiles are worth it. They wouldn't have helped when I lost first my, and then my son's, social security cards this summer. :-(

Janine Ripper said...

Ha thats fricken hilarious after the fact...clever little cookie that little girl, aside from the not telling you all bit!

Blogger said...

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