Thursday, October 16, 2014

Wine Enthusiast

A sampling of my wine cork selection.  
By now you may know I really like wine.  Only red though.  And I prefer it to be bold, full bodied and not come out of box or have a screw cap.  I have nothing against screw caps per se, it's just that removing a cork adds a little more pageantry to the process.  This is in direct contradiction to everything else in my life, which I like to keep casual and understated.  Everything except my wine.

I want it to be an experience, to savor it.  
But, maybe that's because I'm spending at least $10 a freakin' bottle.
In my defense the labels are beautiful...

Bring on the freakshow!
Ok, not so beautiful, more confused, as was I when I bought a $6 bottle of crap
solely because the question mark on the bottle was my favorite color,
And come on, this bottle of red is perfect for when Aunt Flo comes to visit.
Of course I like my red served up with a gourmet meal
with a side of deep, meaningful adult conversation.

And I also love to enjoy it outside in a stemmed glass sitting at the tiki bar.
(Don't even get me going on those new sub par and less elegant stemless wine glasses....ughhhh.)
But, if I have no other choice,
 I will drink it out of a clearly labeled plastic cup.  
And I think we all know how a night with a nice bottle of red with a cork sipped from an elegant stemmed glass with  a gourmet alfresco meal  with deep, meaningful adult conversation has to end.  With some spicy dark chocolate, preferably
while getting spicy in the hot tub.

Please note:  This post is pure fantasy void of all the realities of 4 whining ungrateful teenagers ruining a gourmetish meal I slaved over for an hour.  Completing the picture with broken corks crumbled into the wine served in dusty chipped wine glasses that fruit flies have committed suicide in while we're fighting about who got a window seat when we flew to Portugal.  And someone forgot to put the chemicals in the hot tub, so I end up falling asleep on the couch.  AGAIN.


joeh said...

I once asked a local wine expert, why a cork was better than a twist off. He said just what you said, "when someone orders a $40 bottle of wine at the restaurant, they expect a little ceremony, not a twist off. Otherwise the wine is just as good and keeps just as well."

Marie Loerzel said...

@Joeh-Yup, I've had some fine twist offs, if I'm paying good money I damn well want a ceremony to commemorate the moment!

The CDC said...

The utmost importance of clear and concise labeling of all plastic cups deployed in a multi-user environment where alcohol is being consumed cannot be overemphasized!

Here are a few basic guidelines:

1. Be sure to select an unambiguous name or numeric identifier for use on your personalized cup. "Mom", "Town Drunk" or "Dave" (there's ALWAYS more than one Dave!) are not acceptable!

2. Use a permanent marker such as a Sharpie to label your cup to avoid having your identification inadvertently wiped off or dissolved by sloshing spirits.

3. Promptly destroy any cup or vessel that has not been properly labeled by its user!

4. Serious drinkers should bring their own pre-labeled cup. Preferably equipped with a lanyard to affix the cup to its user when not in use or in case of user incapacitation.

5. Avoid playing so-called "drinking games" employing a ping-pong ball that might come into contact with your beverage, the beverages of others, the floor or possibly even the inside of several drunk persons' mouths!

Please drink safely and responsibly!

"Where your potentially life-threatening infection is our passion!"

Marie Loerzel said...

@CDC-This quip was particularly hilarious G-A-R-Y.

Athalia said...

I discovered your blog just as I was getting into wine seriously and learned a lot from your well written. Thanks for sharing!


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