I heard the rumors before my oldest started high school there. "That school is rampant with drugs, that's what I heard." I took it the way I take most things, in a laid back grain of salt kind of way. Because every school has drugs, right? Stoners are just part of the inevitable landscape of the iconic American high school experience. I mean if Fast Times at Ridgemont High is any indication and I think we all know it is. So I had this whole peace-love-tolerance-don't-worry-everything-will-be-fine- very-Colorado attitude about the whole thing.
Before the first week of school.
Where my son witnessed his first drug deal right in front of his locker. And we're not talking a little bit of pot either. My kids' school, on a military installation, is inundated with HEROIN. The school initials are AA, which takes on a whole new meaning now. However, most of the time, I just refer to it as Heroin High. Then, all the locals know exactly what school I'm talking about. Because although everyone acknowledges there's a longstanding problem and students have died overdosing, there doesn't seem to be a solution.
The second week of school,
my son witnessed his second run-in with drugs in the bathroom. Toilets are always drug havens because there aren't cameras in there. But, is it fair for my kid to hold his piss all day to avoid the drug culture in the crapper? This is when I found out that the library is referred to as the pharmacy, because it's another hot spot. So now, my kid can't piss or look up reference material. Unless maybe he's looking up "dimebag". So I shared my concerns with the principal. Or I tried to. She didn't call me back. I got dimebagged down to the Assistant Principal.
The third week of school,
he found out the 15 year old girl sitting next to him in his writing class, is having twins. She showed the teacher the ultrasound. This of course has nothing to do with drugs, unless she was under the influence of drugs when she got pregnant. But, I bring it up because I'm positive she's going to want to be under the influence of drugs when she pops those babies out of her vagina!
A whole month into school,
and some dumbass smokes weed on the school bus to school on a dare! Seriously, how stupid is that? Duh, there's cameras on the bus you little twit! Do they learn nothing at AA? When I wrote a nasty gram to the school on a Saturday. And got a call within the hour, because now I'm THAT mom. The one who sends her kid off to school every morning with the words "Just say NO! And remember, don't eat the brownies!"
Yes, my friends, I have now become Nancy Fucking Reagan! But, hopefully with better style.
And while, the War on Drugs is actually being won by the drugs. I got a kid suspended, so Drugs: one hundred billion points. Nancy Reagan: one measly little point. But, even with that minor victory, I feel so fucking high right now!