Thursday, September 5, 2013

Facebook vs. Twitter

Social networking sites are not all the same. I know this because now I'm on both facebook and twitter. Oh, they're all huge time sucks and the more time you spend on them, the more likely you are to be depressed.  So they have that in common.  But, facebook and twitter, in general, draw different crowds.  

F:  Facebook has far more Republican, god fearing conservatives.
T:  While Twitter veers more toward the extremely liberal, atheists who smoke a lot of pot.  And anything else lying around.

F: The place you go to see people you know in real life, even if you only met them at a party once.  Or just saw them from across the room.
T: The place you go to escape the people you know in real life.  Following someone you don't even know in your hometown might even be a bit too personal and intimate.

F:  People you are connected to are called "friends" even though they may be your archenemy.  From high school or grade school.
T:  Connections are called "followers" and it's feasible you could hate all of them and yourself. At the same time.

F:  A respectable person's friend count should be below 1,000, to keep a sense that you're not a narcissistic internet whore.
T: Respectable people with less than 1,000 followers are mocked and shunned on Twitter.  And everyone is a narcissistic internet whore.

F:  Winning facebook is done by giving the appearance that you have the perfect, happy life that makes everyone else on fb jealous.
T:  Twitter is won by being the most ruthless, unfiltered bastard who has the largest gap in people following to people they follow.  

F:  Pages are filled with photo shopped and instagram filtered baby, food porn and vacation photos.
T: Time Line photos are meme's.  Women's personal photos are cleavage filled bathroom selfies.  And shirtless,  Geraldo style, I just worked out,  pics for guys.  (Then of course there is the douchebag who direct messages dick pics.)

F:  Facebook users want to be known for their fabulousity.
T:  Twitter users want to be anonymously infamous.

F:  Profile pics are intricately staged photo session in the perfect lighting that doesn't show your wrinkles or muffin top.
T:  Avi's generally aren't even a picture of the person tweeting. Unless that person looks like Megan Fox. Strangely everyone does.

F:  Facebook allows you to reconnect with your high school crush.
T:  Twitter allows you to be married and flirt endlessly with Twitter crush from another state you've never met.  That you thought was Megan Fox.

F:  Novel-like, ranting monologues about politics, religion and breastfeeding are the norm.
T:  If you tweet anything other than jokes with sexual innuendo in 140 characters or less, no one will read it.

F:  Its users are completely addicted to the ridiculousness of it all.
T:  Its users are completely addicted to the ridiculousness of it all.

In the end, it doesn't matter which you choose. Pick your poison.  Or double fist. Cause there ain't no winners here.


Carol Tomany said...

I'm on Fb daily - for fun & business. I'm still learning Twitter - maybe I shouldn't :)

Carolina HeartStrings said...

I do fb. The other half of CHS, Tammie, does Pint, Twit & Inst. From a blog standpoint we share that work. But personally I only do fb. Am terrified of any more time losses!

Suerae Stein said...

Very funny! I tried doing Twitter for business and still find it so silly. I just don't get it. Plus, I feel like I'm the unpopular kid trying to be popular. I like Facebook more, but hate any fanatical religious/political crap. That stuff takes the fun out of everything.

Ann Mullen said...

This is a hoot. All social media are time sucks. I haven't gotten any writing done yet today. I really liked the part about the narcissistic internet whores.

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

Yes, I think you've got it. I can't say anything in 140 characters, so I stick to FB.

MuMuGB said...

It took me w while to 'get' Twitter, but now I like it. Different sets of rules apply on Twitter but once you understand them, well, you can find it funny and useful (lots of local businesses are on Twitter. In fact, in a funny way, it made me know shops, cafes...that I would never have considered before).


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