Friday, April 5, 2013

You're a Writer if...

Next week I'll be sending my book off to the editor.  Which got me thinking about being a writer and how you know if you are one or not.

You're a writer if...

1.  You have an item of clothing you need to wear to put you in your comfy, writing place.

2.   A hunchback is forming from hours spent sitting in front of the computer.

3.  And a deep seeded fear that you'll die from deep vein thrombosis with a hunchback.

4.  And a deep seeded fear that you'll die from deep vein thrombosis with a hunchback wearing glasses.

5.  You're so obsessed with what you're writing you think about it all day long every day.

6.  Which is why your favorite sweater smells and so you do because you neglect personal hygiene.

7.  Also, you either forget to eat or mindlessly eat trying to think of an adequate synonym for enraged.

8.  The thesaurus is always tabbed, but still there is no synonym synonymous enough for enraged.

9.  It's too late when you realize you shouldn't eat honey on an english muffin whilst typing.

10.  When you wipe it off with a wet wipe you instantly freak when the screen starts flickering.

11.  You take your notebook with you everywhere and write in it furiously while talking to yourself.

12.  Which is why no one talks to you in public.

13.  Either that or it's the drool seeping from the corners of your mouth.

14.  Writing envy prompts you to quarantine yourself to reading books you don't like.

15.  And from hiding people who are too witty and eloquent from your facebook.

16.  Because you've become completely insecure.

17.  But, it's time to face it, you were all along.

!8.  Just now that you're putting yourself out there in writing, you're also vulnerable.

19.  Cause you realize you can't spell for shit without spell check.

20.  And you just lost track of time writing and forgot to pick your kids up at school.

Holy crap, I think I'm a writer now!


Adriene said...

Yup, you nailed it!

Rachel said...

You are awesome - right on mark! lol :-)

Penelope J said...

A writer's life indeed! You might add that you avoid human contact, become reclusive, your writing is all the company you need. said...

Damn you, Marie!
You made me spill my honey, I was laughing so hard!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

You are definitely a writer!

LauraD said...

For me: agreeing to all sorts of stuff with husband and kids, just to get them to be quiet long enough for me to finish this darn thought ...

Leah Griffith said...

Ha! I love it. No wonder writers are neurotic. I can use that "n" word because I'm one too;)

Riki said...

Sounds about right! I love that being neurotic is a writerly trait shared by all writers! As usual I love your made me smile!

Joy Page Manuel said...

I'm not a 100% there yet (obviously). Do getting mood swings and screaming at your kid cos you haven't thought of a good topic to write about, count?...or is that just my hormone imbalance?

MuMuGB said...

Totally agree. Especially with number 17!


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