Next week I'll be sending my book off to the editor. Which got me thinking about being a writer and how you know if you are one or not.
You're a writer if...
1. You have an item of clothing you need to wear to put you in your comfy, writing place.
2. A hunchback is forming from hours spent sitting in front of the computer.
3. And a deep seeded fear that you'll die from deep vein thrombosis with a hunchback.
4. And a deep seeded fear that you'll die from deep vein thrombosis with a hunchback wearing glasses.
5. You're so obsessed with what you're writing you think about it all day long every day.
6. Which is why your favorite sweater smells and so you do because you neglect personal hygiene.
7. Also, you either forget to eat or mindlessly eat trying to think of an adequate synonym for enraged.
8. The thesaurus is always tabbed, but still there is no synonym synonymous enough for enraged.
9. It's too late when you realize you shouldn't eat honey on an english muffin whilst typing.
10. When you wipe it off with a wet wipe you instantly freak when the screen starts flickering.
11. You take your notebook with you everywhere and write in it furiously while talking to yourself.
12. Which is why no one talks to you in public.
13. Either that or it's the drool seeping from the corners of your mouth.
14. Writing envy prompts you to quarantine yourself to reading books you don't like.
15. And from hiding people who are too witty and eloquent from your facebook.
16. Because you've become completely insecure.
17. But, it's time to face it, you were all along.
!8. Just now that you're putting yourself out there in writing, you're also vulnerable.
19. Cause you realize you can't spell for shit without spell check.
20. And you just lost track of time writing and forgot to pick your kids up at school.
Holy crap, I think I'm a writer now!