Monday, April 22, 2013

Friday Night Smackdown

The Friday before last it was family fun night at the girls' school.  I was working the bouncy house with my friend, Kirsten.  What I didn't know when I signed up is it was an obstacle course bouncy house with two kids racing through it against each other.  I diligently collected tickets, made sure kids had their shoes off and paired them up.  Getting them to talk smack to each other was just bonus.  It was fun, but I was totally jealous.  I wanted a Friday night smack down of my own.  All I needed was a worthy opponent.  

Air Force Academy Mascot
That's when the Air Force Academy mascot sauntered in. Intriguing.  So I did what anyone would do, I challenged him-her-it to a bouncy house duel.  He-she-it, accepted.  Cause, I had no idea who was in the costume, which is what makes it so fun.  I took off my shoes and ever present sunglasses perched on top my head and I was ready.  The countdown commenced and then I dove head first through the circular opening, jumped over the air filled high bar, through the barriers and slid head first through the tube finishing the course and leaving the falcon in the dust.  Sure, he-she-it had a big head and feet to contend with.  That's not my fault, I won straight away.  The falcon was a good sport and recognized my supreme bouncy house skills with a high five.

But, it wasn't over.  Because, I had to know who the falcon was.  Who I obliterated with my athletic prowess. It was the end of the night and the costume had to come off.  So I did what anyone would do, I stalked the falcon.  Hanging ever so casually by the cake room, right across from the changing room where I saw the big bird enter.  Dying to know who I smacked down.  A good ten minutes later, the door opens and a 20 year old male Air Force Academy cadet emerges. YEEEEEESSSSSS!  Oh, I know he was at a disadvantage with his big beak and feet.  I get that.  But, the fact still remains, I kicked a very fit 20 year old guy's ass in the bouncy house.  And no one can take that away from me.  Just try, I dare you.

Last Friday was a whole different story.  That strangely also involves bouncing, but not me. I've already established my bouncy house dominance, so I can rest on my laurels for at least a week or two. The kids had the day off school and one of my very organized mom friends arranged an outing for the kids to a trampoline place in Denver.  That's right near the Ikea store there.  The plan was, we drop the kids off to bounce and we bounce on over to Ikea to shop.  It was all working according to plan.  Until we pulled in and parked in the Ikea parking lot. And the fire alarm was going off.  Since no one was running out of the building on fire, we decided a piercing siren couldn't stop us. There was lingonberry jam in there for god's sake.  It must be rescued!

This was a lot louder than it looked
Of course we got diverted by the Ikea staff.  But we did manage to get this photo as a souvenir of our botched Ikea trip.      

So I think it's obvious that next Friday I'll be looking for an Ikea rematch. What would their mascot be?  A big plank of unfinished pine wood?  If so, can I smack it down in the kid's corner ball pit?  

3 comments: said...

Just don't buy the food! Or, you may really be bouncing!

Leah Griffith said...

Stalker! LOL!! You may be the quiet and somewhat shy type but I am learning that you, my dear, are ferociously competitive and hysterically funny. You should have snapped a photo of the bird out of costume and blackmailed him with it. Maybe make him do yard work and windows. LOL!

Steve Dimmick said...

Too freaking funny!


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