Monday, March 4, 2013

Jerkin' My Pork

If you're a regular around here, you may know I love food. I love to cook it. I love to eat it. I love to have people over and try out new recipes that go horribly wrong. Then, when we moved back to the states, I discovered, The Food Channel. Which I may have mocked in the recent past. Because why the hell would someone watch people cook food that you don't get to eat. But now, I get it. Pretty much everything else on tv is total crap.

My kids do not share my love of anything and everything healthy and gourmet-ish. Not for my lack of trying or anything. Funny thing is, while they groan at what I make for dinner, they love watching the Food Channel. Granted, that may be because I don't let them watch much tv. But I'm still going to claim it as a victory just the same. You take it where you can get it you know? One of their favorite shows is Worst Cooks in America. If you're unfamiliar, two professional chefs, Bobby Flay and this woman who's name I don't know who coincidentally has the worst hair in America, head two teams of terrible cooks pitted against each other trying to make culinary masterpieces. Often disaster ensues.

Of course, I use this show as manipulation to try to get my kids to try new things. Last night, it was sauteed kale cooked with garlic, olive oil and some red wine vinegar. Made from a Bobby Flay recipe, which I made sure to tell them. Hoping it would excite them as much as this new recipe excited me. It didn't. Well, except Sky who is by all accounts not a normal kid. He loves both beets and brussel sprouts. He also loves to drive me completely crazy telling me he'll be driving soon. And what kind of car he wants to buy (this week) when he does.

Finally he stopped jabbering when Worst Cooks in America came one. Then, all the kids started salivating over the weirdest things, like a lamb burger. Now, I've made lamb for them before, as we did live in Morocco, the country with the highest rates of lamb mortalities the world over. Ok, I didn't actually fact check that. But, I would say, lamb related traffic fatalities alone make them number one. Which of course is why lamb is so plentiful there and why I really tried to like it. But, I really don't.

I much prefer the not-so-plentiful-in-Morocco, pork. Which is why as I'm typing this I'm slowly jerkin' my pork. For dinner. I don't care if my kids like it or not. Because I've come to the conclusion that they only like food as seen on tv that they don't have to eat. Unlike this recipe that will be seen on their plates tonight. I'd invite you all over for a taste, but jerkin' is kind of a private thing. So instead, I'm giving you the recipe so you can jerk your own pork.

Slow Cooked Jerk Pork with Caribbean Salsa

3lbs boneless pork shoulder blade roast
6 cloves garlic
2-3 Tbsp Jerk seasoning
1/2 tsp coarse salt
1 lime, squeezed
1/2 cup fresh orange juice

Use a sharp knife, cut slits into the port and stuff holes with half of the garlic. Combine remaining garlic, jerk and salt and rub on your pork. Place in a large container, pour juices over it and cover and refrigerator  over night. The next morning put it into a crock pot and cook on low for 9 hours. Remove and shred with two forks.

Caribbean Salsa

1 avocado, diced
2 large mangos chopped
1 1/2 tbsp chopped red onion
1-2 tbsp chopped cilantro
2-3 tbsp lime juice
salt and pepper to taste

Jerk Seasoning

2 tbsp onion powder
1 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp salt
1 tbsp thyme
1 1/2 tsp all spice
3/4 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp ground red pepper

Happy jerkin'!


Mrs. Tuna said...

How about Chopped? The mystery basket is the bomb.

The Loerzels said...

Yes, we love that one too! We're thinking of doing our own chopped with the kiddos complete with mystery basket this weekend! said...

Well, if I cooked pork, I would be worse than a jerk!

Chantel said...

Due to a recent Food Network binge, I've just ingested half a head of cauliflower roasted with onions and 9 cloves of garlic, drizzled in olive oil and a sprinkle of sea salt....then covered in parmesan cheese.

What--you can see my ass growing all the way from Colorado?

The Loerzels said...

@ Roy-A non-halal jerk!
@ Chantel- I can smell that cauliflower fart from here!

LauraD said...

HA! My kids had the food network, and they only eat beets at school--apparently I "don't prepare them right."

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed jerking your pork ...

MuMuGB said...

How do you manage to cook with 4 kids? I can't believe it. Now I am feeling guiltier than ever!

Carla Zona said...

How funny I am reading this today only 2 days after (privately) jerkin my own pork for the first time. My kids loved it, I made red beans and rice and sautéed broccoli with ours. How did yours turn out? Btw I am LOVING your blog. You write like I think.. Cracks me up. Xoxo


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