Monday, March 25, 2013

Derby Dilemma

I had already decided, it was done. I was done with roller derby. No more mouth guards soaking in Listerine on my bathroom counter. No more stinky knee pads I only remembered were stinky when I went to put them back on again. No more remembering to bring a bandanna to practice to wear under my helmet to absorb the sweat that makes my head itch. And you can't scratch it when you're wearing a helmet. No more being a zombie the day after late night practices and then getting up early to take care of the kids. No more being covered in bruises with chronic knee pain.

That was until I went to watch my old team play a derby bout on Saturday night. Then I had a bout of nostalgia.

There's nothing quite like the adrenaline rush you get when a girl who outweighs you by a good 80 pounds is swooping across the track headed right for you and you know you're headed straight into the concrete half wall.

Photo courtesy of Wildside Photography

Or when I was skating in a bout and a player on the other team took the game a bit too serious and threatened to "fuck me up" at the after party. And she didn't mean buying me a drink.

There was that time we flew to an away game and some girls brought a shitload of pot on the flight. Way before that shit was legal in Colorado. Of course, it's always been illegal to bring your mary jane on a plane.

I actually had a reason to wear this obnoxious belt buckle.

Which also came in handy putting gropy drunk fans in their place.

If it wasn't for derby I would never have known my true calling is actually jello wrestling.

Photo courtesy of Wildside Photography

Unless it's putting girls in neck braces.

The dilemma: How can I fit this crazy ass sport back into my crazy busy life?


Joy Page Manuel said...

Judging by your crazy, flat abs, I say you can! (I know that doesn't make sense but I had to bring attention to it).

Tracey said...

Go for it. Black eyes and bumps are sexy

Anonymous said...

I'm with Joy - with abs like those you can do anything...including ruling the world or roller derby!

MuMuGB said...

Am I allowed to say that you look like a real baddie on this picture? And you are so fit that I am jealous. If it is your true calling, you have to find a way!

Chantel said...

I'm with Tracey on this one....could start a whole new trend in the "pole" world.

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