Friday, February 17, 2012

Elemental Lessons

We've been here in Morocco two weeks shy of two years. We had no idea what we were in store for. Or how we'd be changed. Or the valuable life lessons the kids would learn.



Like how to bargain for a pocket knife in the medina made in China by little slave children.

Or that that pocket knife would break the same day. So 20 Dirhams probably wasn't such a good deal after all.

That eating with your hands won't get you yelled at in some places. Well, only if you use your right hand. Because your left hand is Berber toilet paper.

Speaking of which, parasites are just nature's colonic.



They know that 90% of Arabic songs will contain the phrase yellah habibi (come here sweetheart). Which makes knowing the lyrics for car sing-a-longs on long road trips really easy.

The girls have mastered the squat potty without getting a drop on their pants. And, yes I'm extremely proud of that. They can also go pee efficiently in public on the side of the road without drippage. But now I'm just bragging...

However, I'm usure the boys will ever learn to flush the toilet after they've made a deposit.



They can convert currency to know if they have enough allowance to buy something and the patience to wait weeks to get it. But, they also know to have low expectations that they will ever receive it because it will either be lost in the mail or the mail room will refuse it because it contains a lithium battery.

Not to be close to a French school at noon on a Wednesday or a Mosque near noon on a Friday.

Fish eye balls are edible. As are goat's balls.

Staring isn't impolite everywhere in the world.

And why the hell would you bless anyone after they sneeze?



French French and Moroccan French are indeed NOT the same language. And if they have a French teacher who is from France, that it is impossible for them to get an "A".

Seat belts are only for people who think they have control over their own destiny.

And it's perfectly normal for a Moroccan traffic accident to be solved in a slap and spit fight.

Or that it isn't morally reprehensible to buy bootleg dvds unless the guy who sold you these illegal products lied and told you they were in English.

That life's big question may really be why do they sell tissues at every intersection when you can simply snot rocket? Who buys them?

Or is it why do Moroccans eat couscous on Fridays?


(With contributions from Craig Loerzel)

12 comments:

Cerebrations.biz said...

Ah, Craig... Given this contribution, one can only wonder at your bedside techniques....

The Loerzels said...

In truth this was half my contribution and half his, which may also explain bedside techniques...

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Those are awesome life lessons.

Dangerous Linda said...

WoW! Now that the kids no everything that's important in life, what will they do with the rest of their childhoods???

Craig, I'm assuming that you are the husband of the house? If that is the case you are well-matched with Marie -- smart & funny!

Dangerous Linda said...

PS I don't think I actually wrote "no" when it should have been "know" because that would be kind of dumb...

Leah Griffith said...

These were fabulous! Lots of potty talk, snot rockets, and slap and spit fights! You realize that I'm conjuring images, like video clips, with each paragraph. I go from throwing up in my mouth to "what great kids!" and then back again to throwing up in my mouth.

This is more fun than the Kingda Ka, which just happens to be one of the scariest roller coaster in the US. LOL!!

You guys are nuts... and I love it!
Hugs!

Thom Brown said...

All invaluable lessons, to be sure.

MuMuGB said...

It looks like your children now have a wisdom beyond their age...

Hajra said...

I didn't want to know about goat balls but here I am...

Rachel Howells said...

I admire and envy that you are able to give your kids such interesting and enriching experiences. It will be interesting to see what they do! :-)

Stuart Nager said...

Anyplace after this...what will life be like?

Joy Page Manuel said...

Cultural awareness and relativity are valuable lessons for anyone, especially children, to learn. You and your husband have definitely given your family an amazing gift.

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