Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Ex Factor



My Dearest Ex,

When it was good, it was so good. We had some great years together. We supported one another, but lately things have changed. Our relationship just isn't healthy anymore. There's one thing I want you to know. See, no one loves you more than me and no one ever will..



These days you come in and out of my life like there's a revolving door. I can never find you when I need you. And then when you do show up, you're all dirty and wilty and covered in bugs. Oh I tried to get you clean with the vinegar and the scrub brush. But in the end it didn't even matter. The only thing you give to me anymore is parasites. And that's not the kind of reciprocity I'm looking for.



So I've replaced you with Waldorf. Yeah, sure he's packing a few extra calories, but let's be honest, so are you. I can always find him when I need him. And so what if he's covered in a thin veil of dangerous pesticides. Those will take years to make me sick. In the meantime, we're having a lot of candlelight dinners together until late in the evening. I just thought you should know.



It's time for you to move on. Maybe in time you'll find another girl to spend time with. But she won't be me. So don't call to me in the grocery store, the hanut or the medina because I'll act like I don't see you. I think that's what's best for both of us. I'll always remember the meals we shared together. I'll just have to love you from afar.

xoxo~
Marie

17 comments:

Cerebrations.biz said...

Marie:
This was absolutely creative. And, your husband (presumably) deserves production credits for the video.

On a scale of 10, this was an 11

MarieHarmony said...

I loved it! A great laugh Mary - You have great talents to develop.

Thom Brown said...

Terrific. Well done.

The Loerzels said...

Thank you all. Yes, Roy my husband filmed we did it in one take while the kids showered. But what's killing me is how much better it would have been on take 4...

JANU said...

Enjoyed this.

Anonymous said...

I'd comment....but I can't stop laughing!!! Sheila

The Loerzels said...

That makes me happy Sheila!

Dangerous Linda said...

hahahahahahahahaha! love it ;-)

you inspire me to up the ante on the creative expression of my blog -- thanks for being so AMAZING!

The Loerzels said...

Dangerous Linda-
I am totally amazing at making an ass of myself. I practice daily.
xoxo~Bafoonish Marie

Eva Gallant said...

Awesome! Thanks for dropping by my blog. That video is so professional!

bettyl said...

Great job!

echo said...

Very funny and I'm glad i stopped by from the blog hop to see this.

Dixie Goode
http://duffybarkley.blogspot.com/2011/10/tricks-and-treats-at-trick-or-treat.html

Melissa said...

Hahaha that was awesome I love it! Found you on the blog hop and I will definitely be returning for any future posts!

MuMuGB said...

A good laugh! I love your house too. If only I could have this in London!!!

Doreen McGettigan said...

Really good stuff!!

Samantha Bangayan said...

So adorable, Marie! And I loved getting to know you better through your video. =)

Joy Page Manuel said...

Awesome Marie!!! It's great to see more of you and your world and this is just so creative!! Gave me a good laugh and I could so relate to your sentiments ;-))

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