I laid in bed praying for death with a pillow over my head because I forgot to shut the shades and the open window when one of my neighbors started cutting down a tree with a chainsaw. I may have also prayed for the neighbor's death. I'm normally a very nice person, I SWEAR! After laying there for hours deciding whether rolling over was worth the risk that the motion would make me retch and coming to terms with the disappointment that I wasn't going to die, I finally fell asleep. And I woke up with a slightly less horrible headache and an empty, queasy stomach that needed to be fed.
Please god, since you didn't answer my prayer to die,
let there be saltines in the cupboard.
YOU OWE ME!
Then there, way in the back of my pantry was an open box. And I really do mean open, because my kids never roll down the plastic bags or close the top of any box of food. But, even so, thank god! So I trudged them upstairs and took them to bed with me. Slowly dining on stale saltines and water, I got a sick craving. I can't be the only one who starts pining for bizarre foods when they don't feel well. But, I may be the only one aching for Bit O Honey. Which I probably haven't eaten since it was in my Halloween loot from 1980. Because everyone knows no kid wants it and it's utterly untradeable. But, once you've eaten all the other candy, six months after that, you'll finally take a bite outta that Bit O Honey. Out of desperation because it is still candy.
I was in no condition to get in my car in search of this obscure candy that they probably didn't even make anymore. But, later that night, when I had to go to the airport to pick up my husband and was looking for an excuse to leave earlier than I needed to because my kids were fighting, I went to Walgreens. Because supposedly, it's on the corner of happy and healthy. But, I wasn't happy at all when I scoured the candy aisle for a full 10 minutes and couldn't find any Bits O Honey. So, I left with Swedish Fish. Which was even more disappointing. What was I even thinking?
Fun fact: I obsess about unimportant things that I can't find.
So, the next day, I strategized. Where am I likely to find an old candy that was likely discontinued in 1985? No, not the internet. That's cheating. The Dollar Store.
You know the sickest part of this whole thing?
I really, really like them.
Which means I'm going to be a regular at The Dollar Store now.