Monday, January 12, 2015

Flying the Perfectly Coiffed Skies

The thing that sucks about travel, is actually getting to your destination.   Especially when your destination is 27 hours plus of travel clear across the other side of the world.  There's no way around it.  One simply must endure much too early departures, stuffy, cramped quarters, bad airline food eaten out of contempt and boredom, and inhospitable flight attendants.  Except if you're flying Korean Air, where the flight attendants actually seem to enjoy their job.  And people.  It must be a cultural thing.

Because what American could pull off working in a sleek, form fitting white leather uniform, heels, perfectly coiffed hair and make-up fit for the runway (think Milan, not the airport) for 12 hours straight? With a smile no less.  It's extremely Stepford wife-ish.  And inhumane.  We have unions fighting for the rights of flight attendants to wear flats and breathable fabrics.  But, at the risk of pissing off the AFL-CIO, it does make the flight a tad more humane for the passengers.     

It's not just the flight attendants' discomfort that makes the passengers more comfortable.  It's the free wine and beer served with dinner.  They even serve it up with a napkin that proclaims that they care about me.  And I'm starting to believe it.

Caution:  Reading about how automated flight has become and the fact that pilots only handle the controls for an average of 3 minutes per flight, may not make for good in flight reading if flying makes you anxious.
Otherwise, it was a fantastic read.  
After finishing the last  book I packed early in the flight and watching all the cool documentaries they had on the in-flight entertainment, I was bored.  And had to pee really bad.  So I finally headed for that dreaded trip to the lavatory.  Which is where I found hydrating lavender mist for my face and mouthwash. It was like a flying porta-potty spa.  Which is when I went to go get the camera and went to check out a different bathroom.  Cause I can't go back to the same one, I don't want the flight attendants to think I've got some weird bathroom fetish. (Which I do.)  And then, there was a different lotion and toothbrushes with toothpaste.

Evidence of the spaishness.
 It's like they want you to spend an hour in there trying to achieve Korean Air flight attendant perfection.  Which is really just a setup for failure.  Because no one can achieve this level of perfection.  I know because I tried for a whole entire minute in the bathroom.  What can I say?  I'm American.  I want the express lane to perfectly coiffed.  And to wear flats with breathable fabrics.

So I take selfies of how comfortable and relaxed I look over the middle of the Pacific Ocean 
 in the airplane bathroom.  It's simply the American way!
(And I think it might be Korean Air's covert instagram marketing strategy.)


Leah Griffith said...

Happy New Year, and have a blast!

Sine said...

"I'm American. I want the express lane to perfectly coiffed."

You never fail to nail the cultural similes. Or are they metaphors? Whatever, spot on!


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