Thursday, August 16, 2012

Social Media Whore


This is my current Facebook picture. I am, you see, a social media whore. I didn't set out to be one. It just kinda happened. And I'm not the happy hooker kind either. I'm the one who's searching for a better life. One who's theme song isn't the plunking of my fingertips on the keyboard. (Wait, since I'm a writer, I guess that kinda is my song. Oh well.)
It started off innocent, the way these things do, with Facebook. Linking up with family, friends and classmates. Soon enough it took a turn for the worse. Constant requests for Farmville or whatever the flavor of the month game is that I have blocked the hell out of. Before you know it you're stalking people's photo albums to see if they had a mullet back in high school too. Because that makes you (I mean me) feel better about yourself (or myself). Until you realize you have some deep seeded inadequacy issues fed by the accessibility of the perfectly sanitized version of people's on-line lives. And you feel really dirty.

To clean myself up and try to feel more respectable about my cyber self, I started to write more. Then I started to use social media to meet other writers and find more readers. Thus started the period where I joined a few blogging groups. Ok, I joined a lot of blogging groups for a while there. I met a lot of people. But, sometimes I took things to the next level too fast with the wrong person and let them friend me. Before I realized that we just weren't right for each other. That our relationship was based on a mutual lust for success. And I felt skanky all over again. I hoped I hadn't contracted an STD (Socially Transmitted Disease) in the process. Then, my fingers did the walk of shame all the way to the delete button.

After that I buried myself even more in my writing. Sure that substance would prevail over sociability. However, substance is what substance does. So, no one reads substantive things they don't know exist. One simply must be sociable to some degree. So I tried a new angle, I joined some expat sites. Not knowing at the time that some foreign men use these sites like a Match.com directory to score American women. Who are a pretty hot commodity in certain parts of the world in case you didn't know. I had fallen right in the arms of the womanizer. How could I have been so naive?

I was so disheartened at the whole social scene and was ready to go into seclusion when one day I was at the library and saw the book Likeable Social Media. I didn't have any expectations. And the same message I had been told by other writers ran through it. Social media is invaluable. And the best place to promote your product? Twitter. Apparently, it's the biggest pimp out there. Crap.

Because of course Twitter is the one site I said I'd never join. Really, do I need to know every time someone I don't actually know in real life takes a crap or eats a hot dog. Or better yet, I could just use it to follow my favorite celebrities. Because evidently on Twitter the term following makes you feel more like a fan and less like a stalker. Even though you still are.

So I reluctantly created a Twitter account. I followed some of my favorite writers. And while I'm not much of a celebrity worshiper, I figured I needed to have a token celebrity to stalk, via the follow button, one. Just one. I think it's mandatory in the terms of use I didn't read when I signed up. So I know when said celebrity craps or eats a hot dog or eats a hot dog whilst crapping and tweeting. Oh and it's obligatory that they're hot. So who won my celebrity lottery? You'll have to go look and see who I follow on Twitter to find out. Even though I feel like a total twit doing that.

So, I'm not the best social media whore. In fact, I'm a total loser if you go by the numbers. It's way too important to me that the connections I make with people are genuine. Because in the end, I'd rather have substance than success. Ok, I'd rather have both, but I mean if I HAD to choose. Substance wins hands down.

(But if you'd like to help a little with the success part you can like my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter:  Rock The Kasbah@MarieLoerzel. No pressure though. And I promise not to tweet about my poop.)



16 comments:

hocam said...

I suck at the whole social media thing. I blog for the fun of it, like you joined a forum,not all expats, but about life in Turkey and had a brief flirtation with Twitter. My biggest problem is remembering all the passwords, some I forget and have to come up with new ones, only for them to be forgotten in the blink of an eye. Good luck with twitter....you.ve peaked my curiosity about who you follow. Going to check it out!

Joy Page Manuel said...

Didn't even know you finally gave in to Twitter. I gotta have your info so I can promote your or something (yes, I'm a social media whore too, obviously, but maybe one who can still see some salvation, hehehe).

Dangerous Linda said...

i'm new to twitter, too. my son pressured me into it and my boyfriend is totally against it. so far i haven't gotten hurt -- now i'm following YOU ;-)

Cathy Tittle said...

I admire anyone trying to become a success at writing. It's a zoo out there. As for me, I'm just in it because I have fun with it. And I stalk...err..follow @Ruth_A_Buzzi because I love her humor and style, and was the best part of television. :D

Sandra said...

I follow you on both, but I do have to say that originally, I suspect our relationship was based on a mutual lust for success...but that's ok because I'm pretty sure I have no social media STDs, so it's all good.
However, then I really really read you, like I devoured your writing, and I was like, "Damn! She's better than I am!" So now you're my Twitter celebrity. See how that works! :)

Ba said...

Is this a callgirl ring? Then I am definitely in! Social media is invaluable till the moment you get sucked up by it then it is like a vulture ripping you apart.

Leah Griffith said...

A good friend of mine, who is about my age, recently joined twitter. I bumped into her one day and she said, "OMG, it's been so long! I should have twatted you!"

Yeah the past tense for tweet is NOT twat. We both laughed until we nearly peed our pants.

I'm a social network whore too but I'm not very good at it. I go for the substance and there ain't a lot of it out there. Send me the link for your facebook page so I can like it—you little whore;)

The Loerzels said...

@ Mary-I have given up on many a thing because I too cannot remember the password!
@Joy-Salvation...LOVE IT!
@Linda-Those kids with their peer pressure these days....
@Cathy-Ruth Buzzi is still alive? As I assume she does not tweet from a grave.
@Sandra-I guess maybe we're lesbians cause I LOVE your writing too or I wouldn't have started following you!
@Barbara-Are you a call girl or the madam?
@Leah-TWAT!!! Oh my god, that is so awesome. If I heard that before I totally would have stole that and put it in the post somewhere!

The Loerzels said...

Oh and the link to my fb is https://www.facebook.com/pages/Rock-The-Kasbah/190338407665375?ref=hl

MuMuGB said...

Welcome to Twitter Marie! The problem is that Social media is really, really time consuming...And I think that you are doing great BTW!

Daniel LaFrance said...

Bounced over from the "Best Posts of the Week".

Interesting read in a self-deprecating kind of way. I agree with your overall message. Substance has much more value and personal satisfaction over the long term. Besides it feels good when the connections feel right. Good on you!

Hands to Work, Hearts to God said...

:^) I try to limit my time on all these sites . We really have to be productive in real life to feel good about ourselves! Patsy from
HeARTworks and
papemelroti

Cheri said...

This made me LOL, literally. Me, I'm nowhere near your level; I'm only a social media whore wannabe.

Janine said...

You're 'journey' sounds so familiar...I'm trying to resist any more social media applications. I just hope no one invents another addictive app! Thank goodness I've resisted Google+ and Pinterest.

Sine said...

I'm so with you on this. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. I feel like I'm a lot happier when I totally ignore all the social media, but then you do want to get your writing out there and social media is one of the ways to accomplish that quickly. (though I suspect sometimes people who repost something might not actually have read it, they are so busy with it all they don't actually have time to read a whole blog post beyond the first few lines).

Cookie said...

I love this. I have to figure out how to do this "link back" business and voting business - although I do not have many readers........ Boooooo

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