Monday, March 19, 2012

The Pork Lady

All the expats know her. She's the only one in town. They all go to her. Even though I know exactly where she is, I've never gone. It's nothing personal. But what it is, is an extra stop. That's why I've never met the pork lady. She'd be just another errand on my list. And while I enjoy pork, I don't enjoy errands.

But I've had my fill of halal meat. If you're not familiar with halal meat, it is meat that has been blessed and has had the blood drained from it. Except for pork which is forbidden to be eaten. Oh, and birds of prey. Which I guess means I can't eat a vulture. And I'm ok with that. Morocco is 99% Muslim, so all the meat served here is halal. Even if you go to an American chain like Mc Donald's the meat will be halal. Don't get me wrong. It will still be crap. It's Mc Donald's after all. But, it's crap blessed in the name of Allah. I wonder if pink slime in the chicken nuggets actually contains enough meat product for it to be blessed? Or not?

But, I'm getting off topic.

What I'm saying is, we expats miss our pork. And bacon. And salami.

In enter the pork lady. She's French. She likes pork enough to refer to herself in the 3rd person as the the pork lady. Any other given name is unnecessary. Although I'm pretty sure she has one. Somewhere. Oh my god, what if her name's Petunia?

Again, I'm getting off topic.

Saturday is the first time we went to see the greedy piglet.

Which is of course the name of her store translated into English.

The tiny shop was crammed with expats from at least 6 different countries. It was like the United Nations of pork. And everyone was trying to get their piece even if it took stepping on someone else's toes. I'm pretty sure it wasn't accidental either. And it became clear, the kids needed to wait outside so they wouldn't be trampled into veal cutlets.

She had sausages.



Whatever the hell this is.

Pig's feet.

Oh and I couldn't get a good shot of the brains, but she has that too. Obviously, she has brains.

And if you're vegetarian and completely grossed out by all of this, then she has cheese. Gouda cumin cheese, among others.

And though the king's picture is hung in every business. It just seems kinda wrong that he's hanging on the wall at the non-halal butcher. Doesn't it? And he doesn't look happy about it.

But the unhappiness of our kids we've made wait outside for over 25 minutes and subjected to the head pats of random passersby in our pursuit of pork products is much more acute.

But we made it up to them in salami.

The next day I made the best pork loin we've ever had. But that's probably just because I can't remember what anything other than chicken tastes like anymore.

But, I'm telling you, it was good. So good that the kids even scarfed it down. Except for one.

This greedy piglet went to the pork lady.
This greedy piglet had to wait outside.
This greedy piglet had pork loin.
This greedy piglet had no creamed spinach.
This greedy piglet cried
why, why, why and of more she was denied!

That's how it goes at the Loerzel house with our greedy little piglets.

7 comments: said...

I'm pretty sure you can get salami without resorting to pork (since we have it, too). But, I'm sure glad you kids got the chance for pork- call it acclimation- the chance to reenter the land of the "all the pig that's (un)fit to eat"

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Glad you took part in the United Nations of pork and didn't miss out on this experience. Some of that meat looks delicious.

Clipped Wings said...

What some people will do for a little pig meat. Interesting and witty post.

Chantel said...

Oh, I have a long and intimate relationship with bacon. (er...that sounded a little wrong) My hats off to you babe--not sure I could last without such things--I'd be jailed as part of the pork underground within a month.

I think I just drooled a bit.

Shari said...

Does the Pork Lady ever come up against prosecution, being that she is in the business of selling the "unclean" pork?

You have been awarded the Versatile Blogger award. Stop by my blog to collect your award!

BrowsingRome said...

There are somethings we crave for when we don't have it. Here in Rome we have plenty of porky things and I wish I could send some salami to you!

Rachel Howells said...

OMgosh - I laughed out loud: "It was like a United Nations of pork". And also the bit about the pork lady obviously has brains. You are just so funny. It is always a treat to read what you write! :-)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...