I'm just going to say it, I really don't like the holidays. Maybe because about 75% of my family and friends have birthdays in November and December, right smack in the middle of the holidays. I've tried skipping Christmas altogether by taking my family on a big international trip. But, everyone knows you can't skip it, especially with kids. Leaving before Christmas just means you have to finish your holiday shopping before your departure date, thus shortening and condensing it, making things that much more hectic.
'Tis the season to be stressed.
Overthinking everything. Like why the hell would I even think of getting my kid a leather jacket when he can't even keep track of a hoodie? Seriously, how many days will he have it until he loses it? Or are we talking hours? And how is he ever going get a girlfriend without a hoodie? Should I give the mailman a gift again this year when I didn't even get a thank you for last years gift? Did the boy who sang 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause ever get some counseling? Also, did he grow out of his lisp? And playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving should be illegal. In fact, it should be illegal to play Christmas music in stores period.
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Take that Connie Francis with your "Baby's First Christmas" song I'm sure you recorded while on Valium. Because seriously have you listened to it? Honestly, there is no greater stress than having a newborn AND Christmas. Babies can't get excited about tearing into the wrapping paper and then playing with the box of whatever expensive toy you just had hand to hand combat with another parent to get the last one on the shelf. No. You're just freakin' tired, not knowing that you'll never be not tired as a parent ever again. Especially around the holidays. Sure, Christmas is fun during those toddler years when they still believe your deceptive lies about flying reindeer and that your favorite cookies are also Santa's. But when that's all over and the kids are older, guess what, you realize you're older too. And much broker.
Happy Holidays!
3 comments:
Yep, I hear you. Santa can falalathefuckaway for all I care, but wait...we have kids and it is somehow inappropriate to still loathe Christmas when you have happy kids dreaming of sugar plums dancing...*sigh* I do like Christmas lights though...but that's about it.
It's definitely a challenge, and everybody I know brings their own complications to it. You overthink; I fixate on my mother's homemade ornaments and treats. As I write this I realize that over the years I've developed a whole personal reward system to get through the season's anxieties. It includes about five different kinds of candy plus special scented candles and maybe a string of white lights in my office. Anyway, with a large family plus birthdays, it's no wonder that you get stressed at holiday time!
I love the holidays and Christmas is what I wait for all year long. HOWEVER...I draw the line with the stupid elf on the shelf. If I ever get into that, please feel free to do an elftervention and slap the heck out of me to bring me back to my senses. P.S. I do feel older. I wasn't able to finish decorating the tree this year in one day. Sad but oh well...
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