Thursday, February 27, 2014


It needed to be done.  Shopping for new jeans.  Since I wear them everyday, they wear out fast.  And when they begin to look skanky, I know I need to make the sojourn to the Levi's store.

Oh, I've tried other brands.  But most of them nowadays are all stretchy.  And you know what happens as soon as you put them on.  They stretch.  And you're left with an obscene pair of jeans barely creeping down and exposing your underwear.  And when you're walking with them half way down your crotch, the buckled fabric rubbing between your thighs starts to make a weird swishing sound.  Of course, it was this particular pair of jeans I wore when I met my friend Suzanne for Jeansapolooza 2014.

Luckily, the clerk could hear me coming and came right over to offer her assistance.  And right away I start sharing all of my hopes and dreams.  Low waisted and straight cut to make my short legs with ample thighs look longer.  Because we all want what we don't have.  As luck would have it, they didn't have what I was looking for.  Suz insisted I try on others outside my narrow, confining, claustrophobic box.  This is one of many reasons it's important to go on a jeans quest with a friend.  They are far more objective about your body and what looks good on it than you can ever be.

Which is how I ended up with jeans tight around the thighs with a slight bell bottom.  
To my surprise, they really do look and feel good on.

Here's the thing though.  When you get that perfect new pair of jeans and you swear to yourself you're going to get rid of the old ones.  Well, it's just to hard to do.  You start to bargain.  Ok, so I'll keep the old ones and only use them for painting, cleaning out my oven or heavy yard work.  And you know for damn sure, you don't do ANY of these things!  But the new ones are just so perfect.  What if you wash them and they shrink and aren't perfect anymore?  WHAT THEN?

I actually put the new jeans on the other morning, determined to be brave and just do it already.  And took them off and put on some old ones 5 minutes later.  I can't wear them in their brand new fabulousness just to hang around the house!  I must have an occasion to make their debut.  Like a night on the town with a silk camisole top and sexy strappy heels.  And if I'm wearing that, it must mean it's summer.  Cause otherwise I'd freeze to death.  So, maybe a few months from now I'll bust them out.

Until then, I'll be wearing my old ones branded by the chapstick rubbing my inner right pocket until I blow the knees out.  Actually, that has never stopped me.  They just become my grunge jeans.  You know for concerts I never go to.   


joeh said...

I did not know pants require so much thought. It must be tough living in a woman's head.

Hey, I love ya all, but damn, you think so much!

Funny post. It was meant to be funny wasn't it...

The Loerzels said...

Yes, it was meant to be funny.
And YES this is what women do. Overthink things.
It's a gift.

Joy Page Manuel said...

My body generally requires anything with a stretch capability. :-))

Muriel Jacques said...

Of course they look good on you! All this belly dancing/pole dancing has paid off!


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