Years ago, I had a brief stint in acupuncture school balancing qi by sticking people with needles. My practice pin cushion was me. I spent hours trying to perfect my technique. Spinning the needle between my fingertips to get just the right torque for a painless entry into hegu, a point near the thumb crotch in my hand. Not that I had constipation or any of the other ailments, like lockjaw, it relieves. It was simply the most convenient place to stab myself with a 34 gauge needle. With my eyes closed. Cause it's hard to stab yourself with your eyes wide open. It's also hard to feel healthy and harmonious when you're torturing yourself.
Though I gave up my short-lived dream of becoming an acupuncturist, I'm committed to living a healthy lifestyle. Which means, I am up for trying almost any new "it" food at least once. So since chia seeds are the new flax, it was inevitable that at some point I would give it a shot. I bought smallest and therefore, most expensive, package of anything at Costco. Qi'a breakfast cereal containing chia seeds.
|We all need some good qi.|
|Definitely greater than the sum of its parts|
What now? Would I grow chia pet hair? As chia seeds really are chia pet seeds. Also, who the hell buys chia pets anymore? Because 500,000 are still sold yearly! Unfortunately, I didn't end up with a chia pet fro. Cause that would have been kinda fun. I could have sculpted it into all different shapes like the bushes at Disneyworld.
|This is the Britney sex doll chia pet.|