Thursday, June 2, 2011

Fire and Water

My kids are all named after the elements. Air (Sky), Water (River), Earth (Jade) and Fire (Ember). And our kids are exactly like their names. When I say exactly, I mean EXACTLY! Sky is a day dreamer, River never stops moving, Jade loves the earth and all it's creatures. And Ember. She will burn you. Seriously, do not. I repeat, DO NOT play with fire! I thought this was a beautiful concept way back when we started this whole kid thing. I now realize that there is a fundamental problem with this retro-hippie-cool poetic concept. Fire and Water? They don't mix! Like at all. Never ever!

You may realize that one element does not stand on it's own. They are interdependent, one feeding off the other. The same is true for my elements. Literaly, especially if there is brownie mix on one of the other element's fingers. And if you're a regular reader or a friend who is forced to listen to my rants on a regular basis, you know that Sky left on Monday on a 5 day school trip.

Here are the Top Ten revelations of the Week Without Sky:

10. It is a lot easier with 3 kids than 4. Ok, maybe that's a little too obvious.
9. I can serve potatoes, chicken and corn without complaint!
8. The other 3 go to sleep earlier without Sky the night owl keeping them up singing Journey songs. (At least it's not Air Supply songs, which I hope none of my kids know.)
7. 1/6 less laundry.
6. One less kid to fight with, get out the door, get into the car, get to the bus stop...
5. Not having to hear the many reasons we should buy a mac computer over and over and over again. (We are not in the market for a new computer.)
4. It is easier to narrow down which kid left the milk out, painted the cats paws, didn't cap the toothpaste and/or who wrote Ember's name on the dining room table with a sharpie.
3. I don't have to help with 6th grade math! (You have NO idea how inept I am at this one....)
2. And I didn't have to try to convince an angsty 12 year old that this isn't the worst day of his life, that was yesterday when you said the same exact thing. Or maybe it's tomorrow, but it's definitely NOT today.


1. With Sky gone archenemies Ember and River CAN get along!

Ok, "get along" is extremely misleading. I meant they can avoid each other in a non-confrontational manner that does not result in pushing, punching, name calling, maiming, tripping, scratching or other defamation of character and/or personal property.

This isn't what I expected! Not at all. I mean I'm happy that River and Ember aren't at each other throats. But what does Sky have to do with River and Ember? Until I thought about it. What do River and Ember have in common with Sky? It's elemental my dear Watson! Oxygen. Sky provides the oxygen necessary for both fire and water to and water. I just figured this out and now Sky's coming home. Is this some cruel karmic joke? It can't possibly be time. That was the fastest 5 days of my life!

Are you sure it's Friday???

This is the part of the post where you vote for an ending. Should we:

a. Send River and Ember on an extended visit to grandma's house for the summer.
b. Be grateful there is a girl scout campout tonight and River and Ember can't fight at least for another 24 hours.
c. Set up a boxing ring and charge admission.
d. Sell them to the circus.
b. Change their names to Rainbow and Butterfly.
e. Your fill in the blank suggestion here:_____________________________________

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