Friday, April 15, 2011

A Tale of Two Kitties

Jade never asks for anything. Anything besides animals that is. So last year for her 9th birthday we went to spana (the Moroccan equivalent of the spca) and she picked out the sweetest little kitten and named her Maddy. And that's the day that Jade became the happiest kitty mama ever. Oh man, her birthday is coming up in a couple months and I know she's going to want another animal for her 10th birthday. And how many animals will we have by her 18th? Dorm rooms are animal friendly right? And I mean to more than just cockroaches. More about them later...

Smokey grew up on the streets of Rabat. Eating from garbage cans, staying up until all hours of the night and hanging with a shady crowd. Everyday Smokey comes to our house and everyday Jade leaves cat food to entice Smokey to return. And that's how Smokey became our outdoor cat. Even though Maddy is an indoor cat she quickly became infatuated with Smokey. They would both sit on opposite sides of the back door smelling each other through it. Maddy would meow the loudest and most lustful meows for Smokey. That was until Maddy got the operation that robbed her of her womanhood. And although the primal meowing stopped, the obsession with Smokey did not. How does that man cat have her so transfixed that she stalks him through the window all day? Or so I thought. Until one day we realized that Smokey was pregnant. And it was at that moment that we realized Maddy is a lesbian. And in case you didn't know, it's illegal to be gay in Morocco. I wonder what the consequence of getting caught in a gay cat sex act is? I think I know though. Thank god Maddy is an indoor cat.

Jade is a doting kitty mama. She feeds Maddy, cleans her litter, freshens her water, pets her, brushes her, loves her and takes glamour shots of her. Maddy is accustomed to her life of luxury. Sunbathing, eating whiskas, napping and chasing cockroaches around the house until she brutally impales them with her claw. Yes, unfortunately we have roaches. At least they aren't flying palmetto bugs like in Florida or Madagascar hissing cockroaches like in...well.... Madagascar. And lucky us, we have a cat who thinks that roaches are the best toy on the planet. How far she has come from her street cat roots. Well, except for the roaches.

Smokey gave birth to 3 kittens in our storage closet on a sleeping bag. (And god yes, I did throw that sleeping bag out.) The kids were so excited. When Sky was getting ready for bed that night he asked me if I was excited about the kittens too. I hate to be Debbie Downer when you know what your kids want to hear. But I feel like I have to deliver the bad news. As delicately as I could I explained we can't keep the kittens. Then I went on to say that they may not even make it and even if they do, life isn't great for a street cat. We will still feed Smokey and look after the kittens until they are old enough and then we'd try to find a home for them. So really I summed up, I was neither excited or disappointed by the kittens. I don't think he listened to a damn thing I said because he was way too excited to hear about any of the brutal realities of the world at large. Unfortunately I was right. Within two weeks, even though Smokey was an excellent mother, all three kittens died. The kids were devastated. Being right sucks.

A month or so passed and one day a door was left open, Maddy got out and looked for her lover. But she didn't find Smokey. She found Tomcat. Or rather, Tomcat found her. I'm sure Maddy tried to tell him he wasn't her type. She's very polite. And, hey I'm just not that into you, ok? But Tomcat being the macho guy he is, wouldn't take no for an answer. She tried to protect herself and clawed and he clawed back. He overpowered her and won. He defiled her. We took her to the vet, but she had licked her wounds so clean that he couldn't find any puncture wounds and sent us home. A few days later she had a massive infection and needed major surgery to drain the puss. Then antibiotics to eradicate the bacteria. That's it. Tomcat must go!

Smokey is looking a little plump. Nooooooooo. I know it's not fair that you don't feel pretty because you have fleas and worms. And you don't have any glamour shots. I know it's lonely on the street. But you can't give it up to every Tomcat, Dick and Harry that comes along! When are you gonna realize that he doesn't love you? You're not special to him. He's not saving himself for you. He's spreading the love around and he's not gonna be there for you. Or your kittens. He's a deadbeat Smokey! I don't care if he's your baby daddy. You need to give him up. And if you can't then we will.

We baited him for weeks. Craig placed a box outside near Smokeys food where Tomcat lurks. Waiting for him to become increasingly familiar and careless around it. And one day when we saw his can of Axe he uses to entice the ladies laying in the yard. We knew he was close. Sure enough he followed the trail of kibble into the box. Got him! And that's the last time Smokey or Maddy would ever see Tomcat again. He was transported across the river to the rough and tumble streets of Sale. He was all disoriented with his tail between his legs as he ran like a shot from the box. Hopefully never to be seen or heard from again. And everyone lived happily ever after.

The End.

P.S. We'll probably have a few adorable kittens in a week or two. Anyone? Anyone?


~Rachée said...

Oh! What a great post! Love your pictures and love hearing about your cats.

The Loerzels said...

Thank you.


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