It is a sign of one of two things when mom says "Hey lets go to the Corner Store and you can choose any candy you like" 1. She's really lost it this time and this euphoric high is going to end in something bad or 2. She has an intricate plan to manipulate you and its going to end in something bad. I think at this stage in the move I can honestly admit that I am serving up the combo platter. Equal parts crazy and manipulation served straight up on a big heaping platter with an Outback sized fork (and you know how big those forks are). Yeah honey, you can have the king size candy bar. Would you like to wash that down with a coke or a mountain dew? And when the bad bites you in the ass you realize....it's shot day. Yellow Fever, Typhoid and Malaria, oh my!
The five minute time limit set on candy selection was "won" by Jade and Ember who targeted the gargantuan portion sizes within 20 seconds while Sky and River pondered every candy option and then scrambled to finalize their choices at the bell which resulted in them not even considering quantity. I wonder if the boys ever figured out that the girls got more candy than they did? I think this pretty definitively answers the age old anthrolpological question "are girls smarter than boys?" Or maybe girls are just hungrier than boys?
The travel clinic had a wonderful nurse who gave the kids the run down on rabies risks in Africa. River interjected and raised his right hand, pledging he wasn't an animal lover, so therefore should not be subjected to promising not to pet an unknown animal. As you may be able to tell, he is our budding lawyer of the family. Ember had to give an extra pledge, cause well...she's five and prone to some erratic behaviors that would not behoove the animal, herself, or others around her. We're hoping she learns to channel her boisterousness for "good", such as champion sumo wrestler and away from total world domination. Now Sky would be the most likely to remind (and when I say remind, I really mean physically restrain) everyone not to pet the animal and would be most likely to get bit himself in the process. I see a police officer in his future. And Jade, well she would be the one searching for the closest animal clinic and formulating a plan to safely get the creature there to make sure the poor thing was healthy and taken care of. Can you say the next Jane Goodall? (Just remember don't pet the monkey!)
Shots were a piece of cake. Manipulation was definitely the way to go. Of course, announcing "The first one that gets shots gets to eat their candy first" helped speed along the process. Never have my kids been more eager or more compliant. There is something to this candy as a reward stuff. Although I'm not planning to use this method again, I'm due for more shots. Hmmm...wouldn't the same work for me? Dove dark chocolates with almonds or Sangria Margarita from Salsa Brava?
Now that we've spent a small fortune getting some very expensive shots, I'd really like to sell that minivan with the engine light thats been on for the last year to come out even. Any takers?
2 comments:
I thought manipulation was called parenting? Love the Blog.
loved it and your predictions on their future careers.
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