Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Scene Stealers


I love summer.  Sunshine and long days.  Camping, hiking and tubing in mountain streams.  Outdoor concerts and friends.  But, the thing is most people love summer.  So they're out doing all the same things I'm doing.  And that's what I hate about summer.  The damn crowds of people crowding at all the sights. You know, the scene stealers who are always getting in the way of me taking a photo of what I came to see.

The first kind of scene stealer is relatively benign.   Oh they're completely annoying though.  Because they are completely oblivious.  They seem like pretty happy go lucky people really.  They like to talk and chat it up with complete strangers even.  And they'll stop anywhere to have a conversation. On the middle of the stairs.  Or the pathway.  And definitely in front of whatever you want to take a picture of.  And, as luck would have it,  they're usually loud talkers too.  I don't know why that is, but it is.  Now, I don't like who are unaware of their surroundings or loud conversationalists, but I get that they are living in the moment.  I just wish they took their moment to a completely different location far away from me so I can have a moment to get the picture of the thing I traveled to come and see.  At least they're oblivious and not self absorbed.

It's the self absorbed scene stealers who are the worst and most obnoxious scene stealers.  Because they don't give a shit that they're in your way or that you also want to take a shot of that thing without them in it.  They feel entitled to take as long as they want to take 500 photos from every angle because they got there first.  And they don't care that you're waiting.  Or that there is a unwritten rule that you take your photos in five minutes or less when there are other people waiting on you.  And I'm being generous with five minutes.  Because we all know you can take 200 photos in 2 minutes and then crop, photoshop and filter the hell out of them to them and make at least one of them look incredible.  It's not the 80's anymore. Where you either got the shot or you didn't.

So, I'm on spring break in the middle of the barren Mojave Desert hiking through a lava tube when we run into them.  Two self absorbed California girls on an Instagram photo shoot.  One of the girls is taking pictures of her friend standing looking up at the the beam of light streaming in from above the lava tube.  It's a great shot.  I'd like to take a picture of it too.  So, I stand off to the side to give them a minute to finish up and get a few different poses.  I get it.  Or I thought I did.  But, the first clue should've been that they didn't acknowledge my presence.  I mean, we're in a tiny lava tube together, breathing the same air.  It's not like they didn't see me.  Then the girl taking the photos with her phone instructs her friend to pick up the dirt and throw into the beam of light above her face.  Ok, really?  Of course once was not enough.  About twelve times was enough apparently.  But, it looks like they're wrapping it up so I'll wait.  Except they weren't finished.  They switched places so the photographer could get her photos taken.  Are you even kidding me?

Now by this point,  I'm irate.  But, I was raised by Canadian parents who put being polite and not to inconvenience anyone else above everything else.  Which is much too polite for today's world where what you need is to be assertive because it's chock full of so many entitled, self absorbed assholes.  The only thing I could think to do was to say fairly loudly (which for me is just above a whisper in a quiet cave) to one of my kids "I'm sure they're almost done."  To which one of the the California girls finally acknowledged my existence and said...."almost".  Not I'm sorry for taking so long and making you wait.  Because they didn't care we were waiting or inconvenienced by their 15 minute photo shoot.  Because they were consumed with getting their 15 minutes of Instagram fame.

When they were done, I didn't say anything to them.  Although I regretted that later.  I just couldn't figure out a way to tell them how rude they were, but in a polite way.  I don't know, maybe I should've just started taking pictures of their photo shoot to get their attention.  But, that would've made me feel like an asshole.  So, I simply took a picture of the empty cave and then stepped aside and left.  Still ruminating on what I should've said or done.  For the next time it happens.  Because you know it will.

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