I had already decided, it was done. I was done with roller derby. No more mouth guards soaking in Listerine on my bathroom counter. No more stinky knee pads I only remembered were stinky when I went to put them back on again. No more remembering to bring a bandanna to practice to wear under my helmet to absorb the sweat that makes my head itch. And you can't scratch it when you're wearing a helmet. No more being a zombie the day after late night practices and then getting up early to take care of the kids. No more being covered in bruises with chronic knee pain.
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That was until I went to watch my old team play a derby bout on Saturday night. Then I had a bout of nostalgia.
There's nothing quite like the adrenaline rush you get when a girl who outweighs you by a good 80 pounds is swooping across the track headed right for you and you know you're headed straight into the concrete half wall.
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Photo courtesy of Wildside Photography
Or when I was skating in a bout and a player on the other team took the game a bit too serious and threatened to "fuck me up" at the after party. And she didn't mean buying me a drink.
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There was that time we flew to an away game and some girls brought a shitload of pot on the flight. Way before that shit was legal in Colorado. Of course, it's always been illegal to bring your mary jane on a plane.
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I actually had a reason to wear this obnoxious belt buckle.
Which also came in handy putting gropy drunk fans in their place.
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If it wasn't for derby I would never have known my true calling is actually jello wrestling.
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Photo courtesy of Wildside Photography
Unless it's putting girls in neck braces.
The dilemma: How can I fit this crazy ass sport back into my crazy busy life?
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That was until I went to watch my old team play a derby bout on Saturday night. Then I had a bout of nostalgia.
There's nothing quite like the adrenaline rush you get when a girl who outweighs you by a good 80 pounds is swooping across the track headed right for you and you know you're headed straight into the concrete half wall.

Photo courtesy of Wildside Photography
Or when I was skating in a bout and a player on the other team took the game a bit too serious and threatened to "fuck me up" at the after party. And she didn't mean buying me a drink.

There was that time we flew to an away game and some girls brought a shitload of pot on the flight. Way before that shit was legal in Colorado. Of course, it's always been illegal to bring your mary jane on a plane.

I actually had a reason to wear this obnoxious belt buckle.
Which also came in handy putting gropy drunk fans in their place.

If it wasn't for derby I would never have known my true calling is actually jello wrestling.

Photo courtesy of Wildside Photography
Unless it's putting girls in neck braces.
The dilemma: How can I fit this crazy ass sport back into my crazy busy life?
5 comments:
Judging by your crazy, flat abs, I say you can! (I know that doesn't make sense but I had to bring attention to it).
Go for it. Black eyes and bumps are sexy
I'm with Joy - with abs like those you can do anything...including ruling the world or roller derby!
Am I allowed to say that you look like a real baddie on this picture? And you are so fit that I am jealous. If it is your true calling, you have to find a way!
I'm with Tracey on this one....could start a whole new trend in the "pole" world.
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