First of all, my kids. I mean does anyone finish anything after they have kids? No, they don't. You live a life of potential, complete with incomplete projects and thoroughly disappointing yourself once you're a parent. Your life isn't about you anymore. It's about providing for your ungrateful kids and embarrassing them even when you're trying not to. And I know you're thinking, but your kids go to school and they're teenagers, you must have tons of time on your hands. (And if you thought this: A. you don't have kids B. you have toddlers C. you home school D. your kids are grown and you're senile.)
I spend roughly 2 hours nagging my kids to get up, clean up after themselves and get out the door every morning. Every other day I spend 3 hours, because my senior has a late day. Oh, but then you have time right? Well, then I work out, run errands and walk my dogs. After lunch is when I write. But, not if I have to take a kid to the dentist, pick a kid up cause they're sick, take a dog to the vet. And then, that senior who goes to school late every other day? He gets home two hours early from school every day. Basically, he goes to school for lunch as far as I can tell.
Never mind when your toilet overflows, ruining a wood floor and a basement ceiling, and you have an impromptu home improvement project to deal with. Plus your insurance company, shopping for new carpet, toilets and a vanity. Not to mention, workmen coming and going to repair your house. Sometimes calling 10 minutes before they intend to come over. Then moving into a hotel with your family and two dogs for 10 days (maybe longer) while they refinish wood floors. Who knew it took this long?
So now, in addition to my family, the dogs, the insurance company and the workmen, I also need to work around the maid who cleans the room at the hotel. I know you're saying, but you don't need the maid to clean the room. Have you ever stayed in a confined hotel room with gross teenagers and shedding dogs for an extended period of time? Maid service is not optional. So, in order to make this work, I take my dogs in the car with me on errands and then take them for longer walks to make sure they don't get into mischief at the hotel and to give the maid ample time to clean the rooms. Which means I have to go to the bank to get singles to tip the maid every day. Then I have to explain to the teller exactly why I'm getting the one dollar bills. Because I do, if you know what I mean.
Oh, and getting the laundry done at the hotel is no easy task either. Running upstairs and downstairs waiting for an open washer and timing your loads intricately so no one dumps your wet clothes on the floor and/or steals them. (I've had both happen in the past, so I'm a bit paranoid about doing my laundry in communal facilities.) And have you tried to cook in the kitchenette at the hotel with the can opener that doesn't work and cutting up chicken on the world's smallest cutting board with a dull steak knife? Everything is taking me four times as long to get done at least.
And really, why would I want to finish writing my novel anyway? Because then I have to decide what to do with it. And then the scariest part, having someone else read it. And failing. Or succeeding. Both are equally as terrifying.
I've got a million reasons not to write this book.
And only one really good one to finish.
Because I don't know how it ends.
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