For everything I do write about, there's at least double that in things I can't write about. Let me rephrase that, I could write about them, but I won't. I try to tread very carefully where my family and friends are concerned. Acquaintances even. My goal is for my writing to be constructive. To draw parallels between your life and mine. Not to be destructive, mean or embarrassing.
But, trust me when I say I have so many more stories that are both heart wrenching, heart warming and just plain ridiculously hilarious. And if I had an anonymous blog, I would have a shit ton of material to write about. But, I don't. Have a super secret anonymous blog that is. I definitely see the appeal though. To be able to write completely unedited and uncensored. Accountable only to one's anonymous self. However, that's not the journey I'm on right now.
I'm on a path of self acceptance. Which is the antithesis of anonymity.
Everything I write is given careful consideration. Is it mean? Is it fair? Does it negatively affect my family? Or my friends. Does it alienate anyone? Or make them feel less than? Which doesn't mean I don't screw up from time to time. Cause god knows I do. In my writing and in my life. All the time. The thing is, through putting it out there in print, imperfections, typos, bad grammar, sentence fragments and all, I'm slowly accepting my imperfections. In a way I couldn't under a pseudonym.
And not all my stories are actually mine to tell. Many I leave for my kids, until they grow into them and have the courage to own their own stories. So they must remain unwritten. For now at least.
It's frightenly so, the truth of this. The sensless wounds caused by careless words have shredded lives and hearts the world over--but the burden of what to write, it isn't an easy one.
ReplyDeleteI admire your desire for balance between self realization and responsibility.
If my mom was alive I could not blog. Every other post she would call and say "Shame in you!"
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that you say this, Marie. I've always admired your candid honesty and wondered how you do it considering you don't write anonymously. Remember that post where you attended a party and you had to go to the loo?...and it was one attended by some politician or something. This was in Morocco. I was thinking, "Wow, she's brave, considering these people can read all this!"
ReplyDeleteBut I'm with you. I'm always so tempted to write about A LOT of things that I see, hear and experience here in our little town. But is it wise? What would I do if my neighbors start stalking us or throwing stones at us? So....maybe not. ;-)
I relate to this Marie. The thing is, I don't want my blog to become my cheap therapy, which is why I don't post everything I write. It is funny how we create ourselves rules and boundaries, right?
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