Monday, July 19, 2010

Instant Gratification




You know you want it. You know you can have it. So why not? Getting it...whatever "it" is is going to get you that temporary high that we Americans love. Ahhhh yes....instant gratification. I of course didn't think that I was an instant gratification type girl. How wrong was I? Let me count the ways...

First and most obvious, shopping. If you have read my other posts you already know about the grocery store and how they can be out of any given ingredient whether its out of season or just for some reason they don't have it that day. So you really crave some creamy pesto pasta and nothing else will satisfy you? Damn it! No basil to be found today. And pine nuts....forget it...(although I've found walnuts will work, but you can't substitute anything for basil). Craving squashed. Gratification denied. Then there's stuff shopping. Inevitably you will realize that you need some of this or that from that cute little store downtown and inevitably that will be between the hours of 1-3 in the afternoon. Dooooohhhh....these hours are equivalent of siesta in Mexico. I don't know if they have a name for it, but I'm dubbing it Mor-esta. It's endlessly frustrating to work with your kids schedule and figure in Moresta and that's if you have cash in your pockets....
To make a purchase here, alot of stores will require cold hard cash. Your credit card either won't work because the place won't accept your card or your credit card company assumes your card was stolen because it's being used in Morocco. (Unlike the time that I got a charge on my card from Helsinki for "professional services" and my credit card company I guess assumes that I like a little frisky Finnish fun once in a while.) So in addition to avoiding Moresta, you need to go to the bank just to be sure you have cash in case you find what you're looking for. The nearest ATM (because my bank is in the US) to my house is the least consistent bank machine ever. It's constantly out of order. In addition, the bank froze our account for some reason I can't even remember, so we couldn't get any money out from any machine anywhere until that was solved. This resulted in the lesson: never throw out stale baguettes until you buy new baguettes because they may turn into dinner.

Want to see a movie in English? There ain't no Blockbuster here. You can't *ahem* legally view hulu or other streamed access to movies here because it's blocked when you live out of the country. (Unless you know all the codes to unblock them. And you know who you are...you rebel! By the way, do you charge for copies of codes?) You could go buy one in the medina (again illegally copied) that will be in english, well maybe. The person who sells it to you will insist it's in english. I have bought the same movie twice in French. Wait....did I say I bought it? I mean my friend did. Then of course you can have netflix ship a movie to you and that will take a couple of weeks in the mail. Then you'll start watching said movie and realize one of two things: I forgot I actually saw this movie before or this is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. And worst case scenario, you realize both at the same time.

You know when you're watching an action-thriller and they are in a foreign country and the American is running toward the secure gates of the US Embassy? It all looks so poetic, secure and efficient doesn't it? Okay...this just makes me laugh. God help you if you need something done at the Embassy. It's actually alot like a huge DMV. It will require at least 3 trips to get done whatever you need to do and so and so (who is the only person in the Embassy who can do whatever it is you need done) will be on lunch or Moresta, out of the country, etc. etc. Then you'll need another piece of paper that you don't have and maybe doesn't even exist. I would love to try just once to run to the gates of the embassy like I'm being chased by snipers to see what happens and if that gets me better service or trumps that document I need that doesn't exist.
Then there's Ramadan. We're only 2 and a half weeks to the start of it. So since I haven't experienced it for myself yet, I only have the stories of those who have. First and foremost, do not eat or drink in public in front of Muslims who can not eat or drink until sundown. Seriously, not even water. It is August in Africa. Food we can do without, but water? Wow that's a hard one, especially with 4 very active outdoor kids. I have briefed the kids on Ramadan etiquette, but I do envision us crammed in a public bathroom stall sneaking contraband water. Not only that but there is no sale of alcohol during Ramadan. I'm gonna have to go stock up. I think I'm gonna need it.

Trying to take care of your credit card issues here is no fun in the states, but here...well that adds a whole new complication or several new complications rather. It's great that everything is on-line now a days. In theory that makes things more convenient like you can get anything done at anytime. Not really. I can't access my account on-line because my address doesn't fit their preselected choices of normal addresses. So, I can't do anything on-line, I must call and talk to a person. Doesn't sound too bad right? Can't do that now with the time change. You have to wait til they open on the east coast, then you have to have a phone that works. Still doesn't sound too bad? The problem is our phone/internet are inconsistent. Especially the phone. People can hear us, but we can't hear them then you finally reach someone and you get the Indian guy with the real heavy accent and the connection is going in and out. You have no chance of communicating and solving your credit card problem of the month(ugggggggghhhhhhhh....that reminds me what I need to do this afternoon) in merely one phone call. This is going to necessitate a docudrama miniseries of phone calls. Damn it. And I'm pretty sure with the history of phone calls and the fact that I'm always passionately displeased has led Indian credit card guy to start thinking we're in a relationship...

So here's the worst part, when you're frustrated and isolated by this myriad of stuff and you just wanna call your best friend and whine and cry on the phone....you can't. You might not even have your link to the outside world because the internet is down. I really never thought of how many ways that we get immediate gratification before. I miss it. And I would really like some freakin' creamy pesto pasta with some crispy sauteed chicken. Is that too much to ask? But most of all, I miss my friends. Friends are the best instant gratification ever! I never thought of it like that before, but it's so true. What can make you feel better than friends? While I have disappeared from Colorado (for now), I haven't disappeared from the face of the earth....I promise... and I miss you all more than you'll ever know!!!




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