Skin Deep

I've never had good skin.  In fact, I had acne until I was 40 years old.  Now, I know beauty is only skin deep and all that.  That there are much bigger things in the world to be concerned about.  And I'm concerned about all of them and contemplating them keeps me up at night.  But apparently I'm greedy and vain so...I'd also like good skin I don't feel like I have to hide...you know, before I die.  Which, let's face it, is getting closer every day.

So, last year when I went to the dermatologist concerned about a asymmetrical brown spot above my lip, I feared the worst.  Skin cancer.  That's when she told me it was "just an age spot".   And I was horrified.  How can I be old enough to have age spots?  And then I thought about it.  My mom, who was a grandmother at my age, lamenting that her once pale, youthful skin had turned ruddy and started to sag.  Which is exactly where I'm at minus the grandmother bit.  Even so, it's weird how my mother seemed so much older than me when she was my age.

What was also horrifying is that the dermatologist suggested laser treatment.  Really, it's so bad that shooting a hot laser beam at my face is my best option?  I don't think so.  Which is why I opted for the lowest concentration of Retin-A, the least invasive treatment, instead.  Except, Retin-A is expensive.  Like $100 a tube.  And even the lowest concentration dries out your skin and makes it flaky.  Which counter intuitively, only makes your skin produce more oil.  So, then it's dry and flaky but covered in as much oil as the Exxon Valdez spill.

Last winter when I was in Mexico at a pharmacy scoring cheap drugs for the eye infection I'd contracted on vacation, I had a brilliant idea.  Why not buy the stronger concentration of Retin-A because it's only $25 in Cancun.  I mean if the low concentration isn't working (because I stopped using it altogether because of the side effects...although that seems a minor detail) why not take it up a notch?  Of course, that's exactly what I did and I started using it diligently once a week on Sunday nights.  Monday and Tuesday my blotchy, sun spotted skin looks fairly normal, but on Wednesday it starts to get really wonky.  My face turns red, flaky and goes all Exxon Valdez on me.  And it lasts until Saturday.  Then on Sunday, the whole process starts over again.  It kinda seems pointless to continue.  But, I'm no quitter, so I keep repeating the cycle hoping things will get better.  Which is really stupid.

Recently, I was at the spa buying a gift card for a friend and I was perusing through their brochure of services.  Including skin treatments.  The spa offers free consultations with a specialist on which procedure would work best for your skin.  So there's microdermabrasion, where I imagine someone takes a circular sander to face, which sounds painful.  And then there's, of course, laser treatment.  Which is sounding more appealing by the day.  Especially if it's the same laser they use for hair removal.  Like it's a two-for-one deal, and it will remove blotchy age spots and chin/moustache hairs.  In which case, I might actually consider it.