Post Labor Day Survival Guide

Labor Day is the most depressing holiday.  After all, you're celebrating being a working adult and the end of summer.  Both of which suck.  The good part is, you won't be covered in greasy sunscreen and gritty sand anymore.  You don't have to worry about bees when you eat lunch outside to bask in the sunshine.  And your co-worker won't be complaining about how ungodly hot it is in August anymore.   Because it's going to turn cold and the days are gradually going to get shorter.   Which just means your co-worker is going to transition into her seasonal complaints about how chilly and bleak it is outside.

While you're busy bracing for the return of your seasonal depression, don't forget to stock up on some important essentials.  Like moisturizer, Chapstick and a cute woolly hat that keeps you warm while hiding your staticky hair.  Preferably one that isn't itchy that you can wear all day because once you put it on your head, you'll have to commit either wearing it all day or wearing the hat hair you'll be left with all day.  But even more importantly, you'll need to have an arsenal of Kleenex, cold medicine and hand sanitizer to prepare for cold and flu season.  Which starts exactly the day after your kids go back so school.  However, the real essentials you need to have on hand are comfort foods (mac & cheese and ramen noodles), snacks (chips and chocolate), a fully stocked bar and a Costco sized pack of batteries for the remote control.

There is an upside to life post Labor Day though.  I mean sure, you can't wear white, but come on....who can wear a white shirt or better yet pants, without staining them anyway?  It's impossible really.  So, you'll get cozy in that adorable sweater you never wear.  You know, the wool one that will shrink if you put it in the wash.  Until you remember you don't even have to wash sweaters.  It's true.  Especially because you're not going to last 20 minutes in that sweater because it's itchy as hell.  But, that's why you've kept that raggy old sweat shirt with all the stains on it that you've had since college.  Oh, you tell yourself that you won't wear it out of the house, but you'll forget about that and go to pick up some ice cream at the grocery store.  Where you will see every person you know.

Ok, so maybe that was just a continuation of the less negative downsides of post Labor Day life.  There really is an upside.  You have a lot of completely valid post Labor Day excuses for cancelling any obligatory social engagements you don't want to attend.  The weather, the flu, frozen pipes at your house that have sprung a leak, pulling a muscle scrapping the ice off your windshield.  It doesn't matter if they are true or not, they will still work.  It gets even better though.  The best part is you don't have to shave after Labor Day.  Not until the following Memorial Day.  But you may need to invest in a weed whacker come spring.