In a Snap

I have a complicated relationship with my face. I'm in hate with my huge forehead.  I wish it was smaller and smoother without the hereditary wrinkles my dad passed down to me. But, not enough to get Botox and rob my asymmetrical face of expressions.  I'm not a fan of the dark circles under my eyes or my blotchy skin.  Then there's my long face devoid of bone structure.  While I like my nose (it's the only thing besides my curls that I got from my mom), I think it's too wide for the rest of my face.  And what's with the off center mole on my pointy chin?  Not a fan.  

What I look like in real life without filters.

But, I'm even less of a fan of having my face altered by an app, not because I don't think my face looks better that way, but precisely because I think it does.  And what's the point really?  Seeing a better version of me is just going to make me more critical about how I look in real life.  Especially as I get older and my face gets more hollowed, droopy and wrinkled while I make the transition into a Bloodhound because I refuse to get work done. But, before I fully commit to growing old gracefully and swearing off apps that digitally alter my face, let me see what I'm missing out on. 

So, I signed up for Snapchat because I heard that they automatically modify photos of your face to make you appear more attractive, even without the extra added weird filters.  Which I don't understand why anyone would want to look like a dog or puke a rainbow anyhow.  It just doesn't make sense to me.  And then the pictures disappear within a few seconds?  I just don't get it at all.  Anyhow, with my teenagers unavailable for consultation, it took me far longer to download the app, sign up and navigate the site than I care to admit.  The truth is, I have a terrible sense of direction, so I didn't "navigate" anything so much as I figured out how to take a selfie and then screenshotted it because I didn't know how or where to find the photo if I saved it.  Because I'm an old fashioned, untech savvy kinda girl.  In other words, I'm old.   

Me with a Snapchat filter.

In a snap my skin was perfectly pale and near flawless.  And my forehead, nose and chin were narrower just like I'd always wanted them to be.  I have to admit, I prefer the Snapchat version of me to the real me, just like I knew I would.  Which just really pisses me off!  Why would I want an app that validates that I'm flawed and need to be fixed?  That's my job!  And I'm really good at it too. What's wrong with us as a society that the real us isn't good enough?  So, I deleted my Snapchat account.  Which took me far longer than it did to create the damn thing in the first place.  You either get the real me or you don't get me at all.