Professional Narcissist

With digital cameras and social media, everyone's a narcissist nowadays.  Or rather, everyone misuses the term narcissist nowadays to mean someone who takes too many selfies.  Too many selfies being completely subjective.  As subjective as the people who take them with many subjective reasons for doing so.  Anyone can be a narcissist, but not everyone is a professional narcissist, promoting their career with photos of themselves.

You may think you know what the world's oldest narcissistic profession is, but you don't.  On second thought, if you guessed the world's oldest profession, I'll give you that.  Even though, I was talking about a more mainstream profession that's actually legal.  Ok, I'm talking about real estate agents.

Think about it.  Long before anyone else had their photo on a business card or their face filled a ginormous billboard next to the highway to promote bail bonds, there were real estate agents. Teasing their hair high to the heavens, caked with make-up looking absolutely nothing like the person standing in front of you with a plate of warm cookies at the open house.  So, technically, that makes them the first catfish too.

I've spent a lot time over the years wondering what the hell buying a house has to do with what someone looks like?  And I still just don't get it.  I've probably wasted years of my life pondering this.   It just doesn't make sense.  Like the way pictures do with other professions.  I mean, if you're a hairstylist, I'm going to judge your skills by how your hair looks.  I'll expect to see a full body shot of you in spandex if you're a personal trainer.  Dentists, your teeth should look like a box of Chiclets if you want my business.  I want to see you stuffing your face full of food porn if you're a chef. Actually, I'd prefer to see a video of that one.

[And if you're a writer, tell the story behind the picture.  Like the above picture of me was taken about a year and a half ago on the morning my oldest was scheduled to take his driver's test.  I think it displays my inner conflict about my son taking to the road solo while also capturing my disdain over impending rising insurance costs pretty accurately.]

I think what all of us want is an authentic glimpse into someone else's world.  To know that the hairstylist has bad hair days too and that's why she wears a baseball cap sometimes.  The personal trainer hates running as much as I do.  Although I don't know if that's even humanly possible.  That maybe dentists don't actually floss every day.  They don't right?  And that the gourmet chef pigs out on a Big Mac every once in a while too.  I swear I saw a McDonald's bag in the garbage can in one of his photos.

Or maybe we all just see what we want to see.

Personally, I want to see the inside of the real estate agent's home.  With dirty dishes piled in the sink,  beds unmade, heaps of laundry on the floor with a thick layer of dust on the dining room table and dog fur tumbleweeds blowing through the entry way.  Just like my house.