The Critic

I admit it, I'm critical.  I don't want to be this way.  I wish I were open minded enough to perceive things instead of judging them.  But, as Myers-Briggs has confirmed many times over, I am a judger. An INFJ to be exact.  So, I like to finish my work and get it done before I play.  Exactly the way it should be.  Because I'm probably a far more serious minded person than one would think.

Funny thing about people who are considered funny, is that humor usually comes from a very deliberate, self deprecating and fragile place.  I'm no exception.  While I want to make you laugh, my goal is also to make you think about things in a different way.  And I can't do that without being judgemental.  Of society and the people in it.  And I hold everyone to high standard.  Which is really unrealistic and stupid.

But, not nearly as unrealistic and stupid as the standards that I set for myself.  Cause they're even higher.  While I may appear  critical, snobby and aloof to you, I  assure you, I'm a total slave driving bitch with completely unrealistic expectations to myself.  Which isn't really good for my self esteem at all.  In fact all I'm really good at doing is failing.  At least I'm a success at something.

Maybe I could just take a short cut, take the test again and maybe rig it to say "perceiver".  On paper anyway.  Except that would be cheating.  And  I 'd know it was a lie to appear more socially acceptable and politically correct in a society where it's avant garde not to judge.  On paper anyway.  But, I couldn't live with that.

So... I'm a critic.  And hypocrite.

Aren't we all?